The Promise
by CaigeCollect
Summary: A FRAMING HANLEY fan fiction. Contains adult language and situations. Setting begins in high school with OC Lyndsey and Kenneth Nixon aka Nixon , who are best friends...I'm REALLY not good at descriptions...just read. Chapter 8 is listed as Chapter 20.
1. INTRO

**CHAPTER ONE-Intro**

I walked into the choir room and dropped my bookbag on the floor, shed my coat, and sat down on the risers. I sighed, exasperated, frustrated, and confused. Why couldn't someone have just told me it was right by the lunch room? I knew where that was. No, everyone here had to be difficult and tell me a roundabout way of getting here. It was my first day of high school at Gallatin High. I'd just moved to Tennessee from Alabama due to my parents getting divorced and I was far from happy about it. My dad had custody of me, and he was always working, so I was pretty much alone. The other students were filing in slowly, after all, it was the first class of the day, and I could feel all of their eyes on me. Of course their eyes were on me, none of them had ever seen me before.

I pushed my long brown hair out of my face and looked around at the other kids who were climbing to the rows on the risers above me. Great, now no one wanted to sit near me. This was going to be tons of fun, I could already tell. A small, brown haired boy sat down next to me and I had to resist rolling my eyes. He was dressed in jeans, sneakers, and a wrestling t-shirt, and he looked like he belonged in elementary, not high, school. I placed my head in my hands and thanked God that there were only eight weeks left in this semester. Hopefully after the summer I could move back home with my mom. The bell rang and the teacher checked attendance from her podium. She went through a few names before crossing mine.

"Lyndsey Grace Carmichael?"

"I'm here." I called out, just loud enough for her to hear me.

She continued calling names and the boy next to me kept staring at me, I could feel his eyes burning holes into me.  
"Kenneth Nixon?"  
The boy beside me responded. His voice was deep for his body, I thought. I sat up straight and looked forward when the teacher called class to order. She started writing our assignment on the white board, something my backwoods school in Alabama never had, and sat down at her desk. I groaned to myself; we had a partners' assignment--and I knew absolutely no one. I sat still while everyone scrambled off the risers with their partners and flocked to different corners of the room. I looked up and around to see who was without a partner. Only one other person was alone--the kid that had been sitting next to me, Kenneth. He had his hands shoved into his jeans pockets and was standing a few feet away, looking lost. Was he new, too? I had no choice but to partner with him, so I stood, grabbed my things, and walked over to him. He was staring up at something on the wall, not paying me any attention, so I tapped him on the shoulder. He wasn't really as short as I thought he was, maybe half an inch shorter than me. He turned to face me, a smile pulling at the corners of his mouth, his brown eyes sparkling.

"I don't have a partner...." I said.

"Me neither. I guess we're kinda stuck with each other, huh?" he replied. His voice was definitely deep for his tiny body, and he had a southern drawl and a beautiful smile.

"I'm Lyndsey...."  
"Kenneth..."

"I guess we'd better get started." I said.

"Yep."

Kenneth and I sat in a corner away from all the other groups and got started on our assignment. We finished quickly, and spent the rest of the class period talking.

"So where are you from?" he asked me.  
"Alabama....south Alabama."  
"Wow."  
"You're from here?"  
"Yep, lived here my whole life."  
"Oh. Who's your favorite singer?"  
"Well, my Daddy is a country musician....but my favorite band is Guns and Roses."  
Guns and Roses? Really? What year was this, 1980? My favorite bands were still boy bands, I hoped he wouldn't ask.

"Wow...my mom and dad went and saw them in concert once."  
"Lucky!" he replied, his brown eyes widening in awe.

"Yeah, I stayed with my aunt that night. They wouldn't take me."

"Aw, why not?"  
"I was only like eight."  
"How old are you now?"  
"Sixteen."

"Me too. I know I look ten, but I'm sixteen."  
I laughed and pushed a stray piece of hair back behind my ear. The skinny brown haired boy who I assumed would be annoying was actually pretty cool.

"So apparently you like wrestling....who's your favorite?"  
Kenneth's head snapped up and he stared at me for a moment before replying.

"Chris Jericho! You like wrestling, too?"  
"Yeah....I saw your shirt and I had to say something. You probably think I'm weird cause I'm a girl and I like wrestling or something."  
Kenneth shook his head, grinning.

"No, not at all, I think it makes you amazing....who's your favorite?"  
I felt myself blush. The bell rang, interrupting our conversation.

"Jeff Hardy. Hey, do you know where Mrs. Clausen's algebra class is?" I asked, donning my coat and grabbing my bookbag.

"Jeff Hardy is AWESOME....and yeah, it's my next class. You wanna walk with me?"

"That would be awesome. I got so lost on the way here."  
Kenneth stood up and pulled on his backpack. "What other classes do you have?" he asked as we exited the choir room.

"After algebra? I have English, Science, and History, and in that order."

"Which teachers?" Kenneth asked, taking a right down a long, crowded corridor.

"Umm, Wood, Smith, and Vest."  
"We have all of our classes together then..."

Thank God, I wouldn't get lost. I wasn't quite sure yet if Kenneth and I would be friends, but I hoped we would. He was really nice and we shared a few common interests. The more I looked at him, the cuter he became, too. His eyes and smile were amazing. By the end of the week, we had exhanged numbers and e-mail addresses, and spent every break and lunch period together talking. By the end of the semester, he was my new best friend. Sadly, the day after school let out though, I had to leave Tennessee for the summer. I'd be back a week before school started though, which was now comforting, contrary to eight weeks before when I was praying for God to send me back to Alabama.

Kenneth and I walked out of the school office with our report cards and sat on the front steps. "Sucks that you're leaving tonight." he said, folding his report card into a paper fan.

"Yeah...I'll be back though...and I'll call you and stuff. My mom has free long distance." I replied.

"Yeah, I know, but I'm gonna miss you. Me and Brandon and Chris and Tim all will."  
"I'll miss you and Brandon and Chris, too. Tim, maybe not so much. He's all the time picking on me. So annoying."

"It's only cause he has a crush on you." Kenneth replied, staring off into the distance.

"Ew! Gross!"  
Kenneth chuckled and stood up, dusting off his jeans.

"I've got band practice. I'll walk you home before it gets too dark. Your dad's probably wondering where you are anyway. We've been gone for hours and it only takes ten minutes to walk to the school from your house."

I nodded, standing up. I stuck my report card in my back pocket and walked slowly with Kenneth toward my house. We chatted a bit along the way, mostly about our plans for the summer.

"You looking forward to going to your mom's?" he asked.

"At first, I was, then I realized I'm leaving you and Chris and Brandon behind. No more sitting in Chris' garage while you guys play for a while....what am I gonna do in the afternoons?"

Kenneth shrugged.  
"I dunno. Sucks. What about all of your friends there?"

"My mom moved, remember? She lives in a new town now, too, where I know absolutely no one."  
Kenneth wrapped an arm around my shoulders as we walked. My house was now becoming visible, which meant goodbye was getting closer, too.  
"Lynds, with your personality, you could run into someone with your buggy at the grocery store, apologize, and become instant friends. You'll have a great summer, and you'll probably forget all about me. It's okay though..." he said, sniffling.

I looked over at him. He had better not be crying, I hated seeing anyone cry. His bottom lip was poked out, but he was fighting a smile.  
"You meanie. Fake crying. You know I hate when people cry." I said, pinching his side.

"Ow!" he said, pulling away, grabbing his side. We walked the rest of the way to my house in trudged slowly across the yard and up the steps to my house where I hugged my best friend, not wanting to let go.  
"I'll miss you." I told him.  
"I'll miss you too, but I'm only a phone call away. You better call me." he said.

"I will, I swear."

Kenneth placed a kiss on my cheek and hugged me tightly one more time before leaving to walk home.I pulled open the screen door to my house and went to my room, tears forming in my eyes. The reality that I wouldn't see Kenneth for nearly three months was finally setting in, and I was really torn up about it. I checked my suitcases to make sure I had everything and flipped the light off, pulling my luggage behind me. I set it by the front door and waited for my Dad to get out of the shower so we could leave. I wiped a tear from my cheek and pushed the front door open when I heard his keys rattling. He helped me load my luggage in his truck and held my door open for me; I climbed in the cab, silent, wishing it was the last week of July already. My dad got in and started the truck and I stared out the window as we started driving south.


	2. HOME

**CHAPTER TWO- HOME**

"Mom, can we PLEASE just GO?" I called from the front steps of my mom's trailer. I had already packed all my luggage into her trunk and had been waiting anxiously for her to be ready to leave all day. It was now 2 PM, and considering we were eight hours away from Nashville, and home was another half an hour north, we were going to be late, and she would be in trouble. Not that I minded her being in trouble, I had spent most of the summer alone, either in my room or down on the beach, which was a ten minute walk from my mom's house. I was darker now, and the sun had brought out my natural highlights. I was an inch or two taller, and my hair was longer. I'd filled out some, but I still looked like plain old Lyndsey. Plain, boring, Lyndsey. I'd hoped I'd end up looking like one of the girls who laid out on the sand day to day, but with my genes, I was destined to be short, with a big bust and curvy hips my whole life. My mom finally came out of her bedroom half an hour later.

"I'm coming, I'm coming." my mom grumbled. Her red frizzy hair was pulled up on top of her head with a claw clip and she was dressed in pajama shorts and a tank top with a cigarette hanging from her lips. We looked absolutely nothing alike. She was pale and freckled, while I had inherited my dad's skin tone and hair color. The only thing alike about my mom and I was our build, and our bright green eyes. When she plopped down into the drivers' seat of her Ford, I smelled the liquor.

"Mom, are you gonna be able to drive?"  
"Yeah, of course I am, Cassie." she said, calling me by my older sisters' name.

"Ma, I'm not Cassie, I'm Lyndsey." I replied.

"Of course you are."

"Ma, you can't drive. You're drunk." I said, reaching for the keys.

She slapped my hand away and started the car anyway.  
"I am not drunk." she said, starting the car and putting it into reverse. I clutched my seat in fear. I had never been in the car with anyone who was drunk before. Clearly, my mom was not giving up; she was going to try and drive. I felt my eyes welling up with tears, scared. My mind was racing, I was trying to figure out a way to stop her.  
"Ma, I left my cell phone in the house." I told her. I didn't even have a cell phone, but in her state, she wouldn't even realize it.

"Hurry up and go get it then." she told me, putting the car in park. I got out and ran in the house, picked up the house phone, and dialed my dad's work number.  
"Hey Cupcake. Where are ya? Daddy misses you."  
"I miss you too, Daddy....Mama's drunk. We haven't even left her house yet."

"Oh no, how bad is it?"  
"She's pretty ill...she says she's not drunk, and she called me Cassie. Daddy, can you please just come get me?"

"Just stay put, Lynds. I'll be there as soon as I can. I'll probably fly down if I can get a flight. I'll call you in a few minutes, okay?"

"Okay, Daddy."

I hung the phone up and sat down to wait for him to call back. My mom had started honking the horn from outside, and I was starting to worry. Hopefully Daddy could get a flight and I wouldn't have to wait seven hours for him to arrive. My mom stopped honking just as the phone started ringing.  
"I'll be there in an hour or so. Wayne is letting me use the company jet to come get you. Sit tight."

I said goodbye to my dad and walked out on the front porch. My mom was standing at the front of the car, hood popped, scratching her head. There was smoke coming from somewhere. There was absolutely no telling when the last time she had maintenace done on the hunk of junk, but I was grateful that it had malfunctioned when it did. This gave me time to stall until my dad got there.

"Ma.....what are you doing?" I said, walking toward her.

"Stay there, this thing is gonna blow!" she yelled. I stopped, and took a step back. Was she serious or just toasted? I couldn't tell, but either way, I wanted to get my things out of the trunk.

"Ma, if it's gonna blow, I need to get my stuff out."  
"Well be quick, and don't make any sudden movements." she said.

Yeah, she was just toasted. However, I popped the trunk and unloaded my things, carried them up the steps, and set them in the living room. I sat down on the couch, hot but more at ease than earlier. The phone rang just as my mom walked back in the house.

"Hello?" I answered.

"Hey. Why are you still at your mom's? I thought you were coming home today?" Kenneth's voice came. It had gradually gotten deeper over the summer. I couldn't wait to see him, it had been way too long.

"I am, I'm just running a little late." I replied. I heard my mom pop open a beer from the kitchen and I groaned.  
"A little? You're supposed to be home by now....what's wrong?"

"I'll have to tell you about it later."

"Are you okay?"  
"Yeah, I'm fine. How's band practice?"  
"We didn't have it today, Brandon went to his Granny's, so...."

"I see....well, will you be home tomorrow?"  
"No, that's why I was hoping you'd be home tonight. I'm gonna go to my mom's until the night before school starts."

"Aww....nooo.....that means I have to wait another week to see you!"

"I know, it sucks....but hey, at least it's not another month, right?" he replied.

"Yeah, you're right."  
"Call me when you get home, okay?"  
"Even if it's late?"  
"Even if it's late."  
"Alright....I'll talk to you later."  
"Bye, Lynds."  
"Bye, K-Wayne."

We hung up and I sat back, waiting on my dad to arrive.

"Hey Lynds, how are you gonna get home since my car broke?" my mom called from the kitchen.

"Um, I called Daddy when I came back in the house. He's gonna come get me." I answered.

"Oh okay. Well. I'm going out. George is having a party. See ya at Christmas, kid."

My mom walked out the front door, allowing the screen door to slam loudly, a beer in hand.

_Cheese and rice, Mom, thanks for caring. Goodbye, love you too._ I thought.

About half an hour later, a taxi pulled in the driveway and my dad got out. He helped me take my things to the car and hugged me for a minute before we got in. He told me how much he missed me, and that he had a few surprises for me when we got home. As long as one of them wasn't an evil stepmother with five children, I was okay. Dad assured me he hadn't so much looked at a woman in months, he'd been entirely too busy at work, and that I'd love my surprises.

After a twenty minute car ride to the airport, and an hour long flight to Nashville, we finally arrived home around seven-thirty that night. I picked up the phone and dialed Kenneth's number as soon as we walked into the house.

"Hello?" Kenneth's dad answered.

"Hey, is Kenneth there?"  
"No, sweetie, he already left for his mom's. Do you have her number still?"  
"Yes sir. I'll call him there. Thanks."  
"No problem, hun."  
I held the button on the phone cradle down and dialed Kenneth's mom's house, but got no answer. I hung up, and headed back into the living room to help my dad bring in my luggage.

"I got it kiddo. You hungry? Wanna go get a bite to eat?"

"That sounds good, I'm starving."

"Your choice. Where do you wanna go?"

My dad made good money, but we never went out to eat. He was a good cook, and so was I, so we generally ate together at home.  
"Is this one of my surprises?" I asked.

"Yep...I'll tell you about the rest of them when we get to where we're going."  
"Okay, umm....what is there?"  
"Well, I'd rather not go to Nashville to eat,but if you don't find something around here you want we there's plenty around here."

We wound up at a local barbecue joint where he revealed to me that he'd be taking me the next day to leave me at the mall with his credit card so I could go school shopping.  
"That's your surprise. Not a diamond ring or a car, but I figured you'd like to get some new clothes, and I knew you wouldn't want old Dad tagging along." he said, paying our dinner bill.

"That's really cool of you, Daddy. Thank you."

"And when you get home, I bought you that new comforter set you wanted for your bed."

"You didn't have to do that."  
"No, but I saw it and I thought about you. I missed you while you were gone, kid."  
My dad hadn't spent much time with me as a kid, he was always working. He still worked a lot now that we lived in Tennessee, but not two full time jobs. My mom was always too drunk to work, so she couldn't hold a job to save her life. My dad finally got fed up with it around my fifteenth birthday and left me and my mom, but promised me he'd get me in the end, that I wouldn't be stuck living with Mom and Granny forever. He had stuck to his word, by grace of the courts of the state of Alabama, he was awarded full custody of me, and he had taken a new job in Tennesee, so I had to move. At first, I was, of course, not happy about it--not because I disliked my dad, but because I had to leave everything I had ever known, and what few friends I had.

I'd come to love Tennessee, though, especially my best friend and his best friends, at least two of them. Tim was somewhat annoying, and a pot-head, which annoyed me even more. He had been trying to get Kenneth, or as we all called him, K-Wayne, to smoke with him to no avail. Brandon had tried it a time or two, but didn't do it as much as Tim did. I told them as long as they didn't come around me with it or while they were high, everything would be fine.

I enjoyed the next day of shopping for school shoes and clothes, but was kind of lonely all by myself. I sat down with a soda on a bench in the mall to rest before heading to the upper level. I heard some familiar voices behind me, so I turned around to see who it was. I saw Brandon, Chris, and Tim sitting at a table, throwing paper at one another.  
"You guys grow up." I called.

They all looked up at me, silent.  
"Lyndsey!" Brandon said, standing up. I hugged both Brandon and Chris tightly, but only waved to Tim. I took an empty chair and pulled it up, setting my bags down on the floor beside me.  
"Where's Kenneth?" I asked.

"He's at his mom's, she wouldn't let him come." Chris said.  
"Oh, why not?"  
"Why do you care so much about him anyway?" Tim asked.

I glared at him and felt my face go red.  
"Hey dude, leave her alone." Brandon defended.

"Guys....I just asked a simple question....I'm about to go finish my shopping. I'll see you guys Monday."

I grabbed my parcels and stood, but dropped over half of them.  
"Let me help you. Guys, I'll see you later." Brandon said. He picked up some of my bags and held them for me as we walked away from Chris and Tim. We talked about our summers and what we expected out of the coming school year.

"Well, we're juniors now, and Chris is a sophomore. It's weird, we're almost done with high school, just two more years to go."

"Yep..."  
Brandon had gotten taller over the summer, and had a bit of peach fuzz growing on his upper lip. He was cute, I thought. He seemed to be flirting with me, which I didn't really mind. As long as it wasn't Tim flirting with me, I didn't care who it was. Brandon dropped me off at home and helped me take my packages in the house. I called my dad to let him know I didn't need a ride home, then headed back into the living room where I'd left Brandon sitting on my couch, playing with my dog, Sadie.  
"Wanna go get something to eat?" he asked.

"Nah, I'm not hungry." I replied.

"Okay. Well, I'll see you Monday."

"Alright. Bye, Brandon."  
He hugged me goodbye, and I went to my room to put away all of my new clothes and shoes. I had just hung my last pair of new jeans when the phone rang.

"Hello?" I answered.

"Hey," Brandon's voice drawled from the other end.

"Hey, what's up?"  
"Nothing, hey, I have something to ask you."

"What's up?"  
"Um, what are you doing Friday night?"  
"Nothing that I know of, why?"  
"I was gonna see if you wanted to go to the movies in Hendersonville with me.....like on a date."  
"Sure, that sounds cool. I mean I'd have to ask my dad but I'm sure he wouldn't mind."

My dad agreed to let Brandon and I go to the movies Friday night. The entire night was awkard. Brandon picked me up, met my dad, and bought my movie ticket and snacks. It was perfectly clear to the both of us by the nights' end that we were not meant to date one another.  
"That was way too awkward. You're like my little sister."

"Agreed. No more Lyndsey slash Brandon dates."

"Definitely not."  
Brandon dropped me off early and headed home. My dad had left a note by the phone to call Kenneth, that he'd called several times while I was out.  
I dialed his number and waited for him to answer. He picked up on the first ring.  
"Yo."

I would have sworn at that moment that his voice had gotten even deeper since I'd last spoken to him on Tuesday afternoon.

"Hey, K-Wayne. What ya doing?" I replied.

"Nothin'. How was your date with Brandon?"  
"Very awkward. Never happening again."

Kenneth laughed. "I knew it would be, but I didn't wanna burst ya'lls bubbles. Did you have fun though?"  
"Yeah, the movie was good, but I just don't ever see myself dating Brandon. Or Chris. Or Tim." I intentionally left his own name off of that statement. I still had a crush on him, though I hadn't seen him in months.  
"Did he give you those CDs I sent?"  
"Yeah, he did, thanks for making those for me."

"Glad you liked the music." he said.  
"Yeah, who would've thought, huh? Boy band obsessed me, listening to bands like these."

"I'm so proud of you." he joked.

"Mhm, I'm sure!"

"Hey, you like the music, don't hate."

"I'm not hating. I do like the music. I even took down my Justin Timberlake poster."  
"Awww, did you cry?"  
"It was a somewhat emotional departure, but no."

We both laughed. I pictured his beautiful smile, and the way his eyes would crinkle at the corners when he laughed hard enough. I was so ready to see him; Monday couldn't possibly come fast enough. We talked a while longer, he filled me in on what had happened on Smackdown, and we said goodnight. The weekend seemed to drag by, and when I arrived at school on Monday, Kenneth wasn't waiting for me in our usual spot. I figured he'd either not arrived yet or was already in homeroom, after all, I was a few minutes late myself. I located my name on an eleventh grade homeroom roster hanging on the wall just inside the entrance hall to the school and hurried along, passing by Tim, Brandon, and Chris in the hallway. I said hello quickly, but didn't stop to chat. They already had their schedules in hand and were waiting for the bell to go to first period.

I rushed into my homeroom and waited in the short line before my teacher to hand the students in front of me their schedules. She handed me mine and I scanned over it. I had at least one class with Kenneth, I knew, which was choir. He had already told me he was definitely taking choir again. I just hoped I'd at least have one of my boys in one of my other four classes with me.

On the way out the door, I bumped into a wall. Not literally a wall, but a human wall. He was tall and skinny, dark haired and medium built...extremely good looking with a great smile, probably an athlete, but completely unfamiliar.

"Is this Mrs. Rhodes' room?" he asked.  
"Sorry....yeah, it is. Excuse me, I gotta go."  
"Wait, what's your name?"  
"Lyndsey...."  
"Hey, I'm Kenneth. I'm new here....could you hang on a second and help me find my first class?"  
I sighed deeply, but agreed to wait. It would only take a second for him to get his schedule, and about the same for me to point him in the right direction. After I was done with him, I could go find Brandon, Chris, and Tim, and hopefully _my _Kenneth. The new Kenneth, however, had first period with me, so I allowed him to follow along while I sought out my friends so we could compare schedules. Before I could catch up to the guys, however, the bell to go to first rang, and I rolled my eyes. The first day of school was sucking hard at that point, and it hadn't even really gotten started. I rushed to my first class and sat down at a desk in the far corner. Unfortunately, the new Kenneth followed me, and as the students filed in, my Kenneth was nowhere to be seen. I was starting to get frustrated when Brandon walked in.  
"Brandon! Come here." I called.

"Hey." he replied, sitting down in front of me.

"Hey. Where's K-Wayne?"

"I dunno, haven't seen him. Let me see your schedule."

I handed him my schedule and my heart twinged. He hadn't seen Kenneth? That couldn't be good. I watched the door, hoping for my best friend to walk through. The tardy bell rang, and my K-Wayne was nowhere in sight. I scanned over the room at least five times and every time the door would open, my heart would race a little, but he never came in. I asked Brandon twice to look over the room in case I had missed him, but he didn't see him either. The new Kenneth didn't have second period with me, but neither did Brandon. I sat in the back corner of my English class a few seconds after the tardy bell, exasperated and annoyed with the new Kenneth already. He'd asked me to show him to his second period. Brandon offered, but he refused, insisting that I showed him.

I signed the attendance sheet that was being passed around and stared out the window the entire class period, wondering where on Earth Kenneth Wayne Nixon was. It wasn't like him not to show up at school, even if he was sick. His dad wouldn't allow him to miss school. The class sped by, and I grabbed up my books, headed for my locker, and shoved them inside, slamming the door. It was break time, now, hopefully I'd find Kenneth somewhere, along with Brandon, Chris, and even Tim. I knew I was having a bad day when I was looking forward to seeing Timmy.

Unfortunately, New Kenneth's, who I'd learned his last name was Williams, followed me after second period to the blacktop for break. He didn't speak much, but his presence was somewhat annoying me. I just wanted to find my friends, not be his tour guide. I found Chris and Brandon, Timmy had already gotten break detention, but no K-Wayne, to my disappointment.

"Have either of you seen him?" I asked Chris and Brandon. They both shook their head no in response, but I wasn't surprised. Chris was a grade behind us, and Brandon had a repeat sophomore course second period. I sat down on the hot pavement, cross legged, and put my head in my hands.


	3. WHAT'S WRONG?

**CHAPTER THREE- WHAT'S WRONG?**

I finally got rid of new Kenneth at fifth period, which was choir, and the final class of the day. Not only did I obviously not have any other classes besides this one with K-Wayne, I still hadn't seen him all day. I threw my books in the corner of the room and sat in my usual spot on the risers, on the verge of tears. I watched the door like a hawk, waiting on Kenneth to walk through. The time for the late bell neared and I still hadn't seen him. I blinked back a few tears and exhaled, maybe he was just running late. I knew he had this class with me, it was the only period choir was offered and he had assured me it was on his schedule. Ten minutes after the bell rang, the door opened, but it was only a senior girl whose name I could never remember, running late. Mrs. Cambridge passed around the attendance sheet and I signed it, passing it up the risers to the rest of the class. I looked to the empty spot beside me, confused, frustrated, lonely, and worried. As soon as I got home I had to call him, why wasn't he there? Was he sick? Did he get his schedule changed? Had the office simply messed up his schedule? Even if his schedule was messed up, he still should've been at break and lunch. I leaned back and closed my eyes, blocking out the chatter now surrounding me. A few minutes later, footsteps rattled the riser behind me, then the one I was on. I felt someone sit down next to me and I opened my eyes, looking to my right, slowly, all the while, hoping.  
I barely recognized him, with his usual bright smile gone and his brown hair longer, a knit beanie perched atop his head. His brown eyes were the same, but sad. He looked taller, still skinny like before, and what little bit of acne he'd had in the spring was now gone. He was wearing a vintage looking Guns-N-Roses tee, jeans, and a pair of Chuck Taylor Converse. Never in my life had I been so attracted to Kenneth Wayne Nixon.

I breathed a sigh of relief, he was there, thank God. Now it was time to bombard him with questions.

Wrong.

"What's wrong?" he asked, before I could even open my mouth to speak.  
"What do you mean what's wrong? I was gonna ask you the same, why do you look so sad?"  
"Lyndsey, I've been in every single one of your classes, and you haven't spoken to me all day." he replied.

"I haven't seen you! Brandon and I both looked for you in first period, we didn't see you."  
"I was there...first row, sitting in the middle. I was gonna catch up with you after, but you walked off with that new guy, so I just went ahead to second period. I tried to get your attention but you didn't see me I guess."

"I swear to God, I didn't see you, or else I would've been right there with you, you know that."  
Kenneth nodded in response. He still looked a little sad.

"I tried to catch up to you after second, too, but you were still with that guy. Same with break...and lunch...and third...." he continued.

Damn that Kenneth Williams for latching onto me. Why me? Why not someone else? He'd made my best friend sad and I didn't like that. Worst of all, he'd made my best friend think I was avoiding him. That was surely not the case. Kenneth Williams and I needed to chat in first period the next day. No more following Lyndsey around like a lost puppy.

"I'm sorry, K-Wayne. You know I love you. You're my best friend. I would never intentionally avoid you or ignore you. I'm sorry...." I said, reaching out and touching his arm. His skin was smooth and flawless. I looked up at him, his eyes now getting their sparkle back, a familiar smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. Freckles danced lightly across his nose.  
"I love you too, Lynds." he replied, reaching out and hugging me. I wrapped my arms around his neck, and he wrapped his around my waist. I breathed in his familar scent, and my bad day was instantly erased.

K-Wayne walked me home as per usual that afternoon and sat with me until my dad got home. We discussed which classes we thought we'd like and which ones we thought we'd hate, which girls had wound up pregnant, and our song set for the choir show that was coming up in October.

"So who's the new dude?" he asked me, sitting on my kitchen counter, eating a cold pop-tart.  
"His name's Kenneth Williams, he said he's from Knoxville. He followed me around all day. I don't know how he found me after second, third, and fourth period. I don't have but one class with him though, thank God." I said, pulling two Mountain Dews out of the refrigerator. I handed him one and sat on the counter next to him.

"Want me to punch him in the face? I could put him in the walls of Nixon."

I laughed, nearly spitting my drink.

"The walls of Nixon?" I asked.

"Hell yeah, it's like the walls of Jericho, only better."  
"Better than Chris Jericho? Kenneth Wayne, with you, nothing is better than Chris Jericho, admit it. You worship that dude."  
"The Idol of Rock Eddie Broc does not worship anyone." he replied, hopping down off the counter, referencing the name he said he was going to go by when he made it as pro-wrestler. He threw away his pop-tart wrapper and held out a hand to help me down off the counter. I slid to the edge and jumped off. I was now a full five inches shorter than Kenneth, meaning he'd grown at least half a foot over the summer. I walked with him to the front door. It was starting to get dark out, so it was time for him to start walking home.  
"I guess I'll see you tomorrow. Usual spot?" he said, pushing open the screen door.

"Yep. I'll be there in the morning, probably waiting on your slow tail."

"I am not slow." he defended.

"Kenneth Wayne."  
"Lyndsey Grace."  
"Nixon."  
"Carmichael."  
"Go home."  
"I don't want to." he said, hugging me.  
"I will see you in the morning, you crazy ass. Go home and watch Raw."

"Oh yeah."

Kenneth pulled his beanie down onto his head a bit more and grabbed his bookbag. He slung the straps over one shoulder and headed across the yard toward the road. I watched him until he disappeared into the horizon.


	4. THE MOMENT

**CHAPTER FOUR-THE MOMENT**

The first half of the first semester flew by. Our choir placed first in the fall competition and the new Kenneth had grown on all of us. He wound up being in a couple classes with us due to overcrowding, so there were now three Kenneths in two of our classes. In order to keep the confusion down, my Kenneth offered to be called by his last name.  
"I think it's weird to hear people call you Nixon. Usually only athletes go by their last name."  
"I don't mind it, I think it sounds cool." he said, picking at his lunch tray.

"You'll always be Kenneth or K-Wayne to me." I said.

He smiled at me, pushing his glasses up. "I'll always be your K-Wayne, Lynds. I promise."  
I smiled back, feeling myself blush. "I'm gonna hold you to that." I said as Kenneth, or as he was now being called, Kenny, sat down next to Brandon.  
"So, homecoming is coming up and I don't have a date." he said.

"Neither do I." I replied. Chris, Brandon, and Tim all already had dates. To my knowledge, Nixon didn't, so I was hoping he'd ask me to go, even if it was just as friends.  
"I actually got a date this morning."

I looked up, feeling my heart drop. He had a date? What? Who? Why?

"Who?" we all replied in unison.

"Adrian." he said.

Adrian. Why her? She was totally not his type. She was a blonde preppy pageant girl, and he was the rocker in tattered jeans, vintage tees, a beanie, and black rimmed glasses. Everyone in our circle now had a date, minus Kenny and I. I didn't really want to go with him, though we'd become friends over the past nine or ten weeks. He wasn't my type at all, much like Nixon and Adrian. He was a jock. Sure, we listened to the same music, and he played guitar, but I had zero interest in him.

"I think I'm just gonna skip homecoming anyway. I don't really care about going." I said.

"You're not gonna go?" Nixon asked.

I shook my head.

"No, I don't think so. I mean I don't have a date for one, I don't wanna go and be all alone while you guys all have dates."  
"Kenny doesn't have a date." Tim said. I glared at him. I didn't want to go with Kenny.  
Tim snapped his mouth shut and grabbed his tray.  
"Timmy's right, Kenny doesn't have a date, you could go with him." Nixon said.

"No, I'm just not gonna go."

I grabbed my tray and went to dump it, then walked out of the lunch room, my mind racing, blood boiling.

"Hey, Lynds. Wait up a second." a voice called from behind me. I turned to see Brandon chasing after me.  
"What's up?" I asked.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"Nothing...." I replied.  
"Oh come on, Lyndsey. Quit lying to me. What's wrong? You were fine until Nixon mentioned going to homecoming with.....oh.....okay, I see."  
"See what?"

"You've got it bad for K-Wayne, and it shows....at least to me. Keep your head up, Lynds. He'll come around. This Adrian thing won't last."

Brandon patted my arm and walked off just as the bell rang. I sighed, confused. Me, have it bad for Kenneth Nixon? No way. I had a crush on him, he was extremely good looking, but there was no way I was....my mind stopped and my heart rate doubled when I saw him walk out of the lunchroom just then. My stomach fluttered, seemingly alive with butterflies, at the sight of his perfect smile. Though his eyes were hidden behind frames and lenses, I could still see the sparkle in his eye.

In a split second, I understood what Brandon was saying. I understood why I got up and left, why I was so jealous of Adrian. That was the moment I knew, I was falling in love with my best friend. I shook the thoughts loose from my head as Nixon and Kenny both approached me.  
"Hey, what's wrong? You okay?" Nixon asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine...come on, let's go. We're gonna be late."

There was an unfamiliar distance between Kenneth Nixon and I. Kenny walked on the other side of me, entirely too close. I tried to walk closer to Nixon, but Kenny kept coming closer. I had never been so thankful for algebra 2. Thankfully, Kenny sat on the opposite side of the room as Nixon and I. Unfortunately, Adrian sat right in front of Nixon...

The distance between Nixon and I seemed to grow as the weeks passed on. He went to homecoming with Adrian, Adrian went to his band practice, he went to her pageants. Soon, I quit going to his band practices because I couldn't bear the sight of her. Kenny had joined their band, playing bass. I was distanced from all of my friends, except Luke, who was a senior, and with spring semester fast approaching, I didn't have much time left with him before he graduated and left for college.

I had a jealous monster living inside of me twenty-four-seven,and any time Adrian was around or was mentioned, it would rear its ugly head. I wanted to just punch her perfect face in so that she'd never win another pageant. What did Nixon see in her? I was picturing myself pummeling her one morning when I walked up to the school to find Nixon and Adrian kissing, standing in mine and his spot. The monster was fully alive now, on its feet and fire in its eyes. I felt absolutely nauseated, disgusted, and angry. I'd known they were dating, but this was the first time I'd seen them be physical, and it made me sick.I hurried past them so Nixon wouldn't see the tears forming in my eyes.

I was pulling books out of my locker, shoving them in my bookbag, mumbling obscenities about Adrian under my breath when my best friend approached me.  
"Hey Lynds.....I waited for you outside but you never....woah, what's the matter,sweetie? Why is your mascara running? Who hurt my girl?"  
I slammed the locker shut and looked at him. His girl? That was Adrian, clearly. Why was my mascara running? _Because you fucking shattered my heart, Kenneth Wayne._

"Nothing, Nixon. Just...I don't wanna talk about it." I turned to walk away, but he grabbed me by the elbow.

"Okay, one, since when do YOU call me Nixon? Two, we have eight minutes until the tardy bell. Talk to me."

"It's nothing, really. Everyone else calls you Nixon, so I might as well start it too. It fits you. I'm gonna go to class okay?"

I pulled away from him and with now seven minutes left until the late bell, locked myself in a bathroom stall to let the tears flow a little more freely. I fixed my makeup and hurried across the hall to first period, sitting down in my seat. I faced forward, my back to Nixon, and focused on a stray mark on the white board, trying to ignore him. However, when he reached out and softly placed his hands on my arms, it was hard to keep the butterflies and my heart rate down.

"Okay, so, I'm not sure what's going on, why you don't want to talk about it, or who or why you were crying this morning, but I don't like it. I wish you'd talk to me....but you know I'm here no matter what." he whispered in my ear as Mr. Matthias walked in. I nodded in response as class was called to order. How could I tell him that he was the reason? How could I tell him that I hated his girlfriend, that I was so jealous of her that I couldn't see straight? I couldn't, there was no way. He let go of my arms and leaned back as Mr. Matthias started handing out the study guides for our final exam.


	5. YOU CAN SCREAM OUT LOUD

**CHAPTER 5-YOU CAN SCREAM OUT LOUD,BUT YOUR PANIC FALLS ON DEAF EARS**

I didn't go to my mom's for Christmas. I stayed with my dad, and hung out with Kenny a lot. Nixon was always busy with Adrian, so busy that we rarely even talked anymore. Brandon and Chris were busy with their girlfriends and Tim was always high, so I had two options to pass the time--hang out with Kenny or mope in my room. Kenny and I found ourselves together day in and day out, much like Nixon and I had at first. With every passing day, Kenny became less and less of a distraction, and more and more of an attraction. We shared many common interests, and he was sweet and funny. When we returned to school in January, the prom committee called a meeting to let us know the date of prom and all the festivities. Suddenly, I was worried. I had to get a dress, a date, shoes, a hair style, make-up, nails....and I only had until March to do it.

"Are you gonna go?" Kenny asked me as we filed out of the auditorium.  
"I dunno, I might. I mean, it's so expensive, and I'd have to get a dress, shoes, I'd have to get my hair done, and my nails, and my makeup...plus I'd have to get a date."  
"I'll take you." he offered.

I looked up at Kenny. He was smiling nervously. His brown eyes weren't sparkling like Nixon's did, and his smile wasn't nearly as perfect.  
"That's really nice of you to offer. Let me get back to you on that, okay? I don't know if I wanna go or not yet."  
"Okay. I'll see you tomorrow."

We waved goodbye to one another and I made my way to the choir room. I threw my books into the corner as usual, shed my coat, and sat down on the risers. Nixon took his usual spot next to me, said hello, and asked if I was going to prom.

"I don't know really. I mean, someone asked me to go, but I just....don't know if I wanna go." I said.

"I see. I'm taking Adrian."

Of course he was. I nodded in response, holding my tongue. I still had a strong disdain for Adrian, and I was somewhat angry with Nixon. He and I had grown apart, but he was completely oblivious to it. If he had realized it, he didn't care, clearly.

"Who asked you?" he asked.

"Kenny."

"Kenny?"  
"Yeah, Kenny."  
"Wow. What did you say?"  
"I told him the same thing I just told you. Were you listening?"  
"Yeah...sorry."  
"I don't know if I'm going or not. I mean it's just junior year. Why go to prom?"  
"Yeah, I see your point. But, Adrian wants to go, so we're going."

"That's nice."  
"Yeah. I heard there's gonna be a huge after party. We should all go,even if you don't go to prom."  
"I don't want to go to some random person's house and get high and drunk after prom. That's stupid."

"O....kay then......I can see that you're pissed off for some reason so I'm just gonna leave you alone."

Nixon slid down the risers about three feet and sat next to Luke. I felt myself go red, angry. It was now perfectly clear that he had no clue our friendship wasn't what it used to be. I willed the class to go by quickly so I could find Kenny and tell him yes, I would go to prom with him. It was now my semester-end goal to make Kenneth Wayne Nixon as jealous as possible.

The eight weeks leading up to prom passed by quickly, and as I stood in my room, dress and shoes on, hair, nails, and makeup done, I barely recognized the girl staring back at me in the mirror. I wondered if anyone else would recognize me. I heard the doorbell ring and grabbed Kenny's buttoniere off my dresser before heading to the living room. My dad had let Kenny in, who looked nice, but not stunning, in his tux. My dad snapped a few photos before Kenny and I left for dinner. We arrived to the restaurant where all of our friends,minus Chris, and their dates, including Adrian and Nixon, were waiting.

"Wow, you look gorgeous, Lynds." Brandon said, hugging me.

"Thank you, Brandon...." I replied, smiling genuinely.  
"You okay?"  
"I'm alright, I guess. She looks like a Barbie doll....only fitting his name's Kenneth, I guess."

Brandon chuckled and hugged me once more.  
"Like I told you, it won't last. Just give it time, alright? He'll come around. He'll realize what's missing before long."  
"I just hope it's not too late, Brand.....I miss him...."  
"I know....."

Brandon placed a kiss on my cheek and took his date by the hand as we started filing into the restaurant. I saw Nixon grab Adrian's hand and place a soft kiss on her lips. I grabbed onto Kenny's arm, walking ahead so that Nixon was sure to see. Would he be jealous? I had no idea, but I hoped so. We all sat around a huge table, chatting aimlessly about random subjects, while we waited on our dinner. Kenny paid for our dinner and we left a little earlier than everyone else. Before we got to the venue where prom was being held, however, Kenny pulled off onto a dark secluded road and parked the car.  
"What are you doing?" I asked.

Kenny leaned over, took my face in his hands, and kissed my lips roughly. I tried pushing him away, but he pinned me back against the door. He removed a hand from my face and reached down, leaning the seat back. My heart was racing along with my mind, and my entire body was trembling. Kenny moved over the gear shift and parted my legs with his knee. I pushed on him harder, but couldn't budge him. I pulled my face away from his, trying to catch my breath.

"Kenny get off."  
"Oh, don't you worry, I will." he said, unbuttoning his coat and untucking his shirt. I reached for the door handle to try and make an escape, but he grabbed my wrist tightly.

"Don't even think about it. The longer you resist, the longer this will last. I suggest you co-operate. If you ever tell anyone about this I'll kill you." he growled.  
The tears began flowing freely and I was starting to feel nauseated with fear. Kenny kissed my neck and mouth, then down my chest. He opened the car door and told me to get out and lay down in the grass next to the car, but not to even think about running. Shaking, terrified, I followed his command. I heard his belt buckle rattling and the zipper of his tux pants unzip. I choked back a scream and a sob as his hands slid up my thighs, pushing my dress up. He pulled down my panty hose and grabbed at my underwear, ripping them to shreds. With one hand, he pinned both of my wrists above my head, while with the other, he guided himself inside of me. I screamed, but my panic fell on deaf ears. There was no one around for miles, and it was pitch black outside.

"Shut up or it'll be worse. Just lay still and don't make a sound." Kenneth yelled at me. I cried harder, silent sobs racking my body as Kenny violently thrust in and out of me. I felt like my insides were being ripped apart, pain searing through my pelvis.

Kenny reached up and grabbed a strap of my dress, ripping at it until one of my breasts was exposed. He leaned down, kissing my chest, fondling my breast, then kissing it. My tears had gone dry by then, but I was still sobbing so hard that I lost my breath. I began gasping, trying to breathe.  
"Shut up, bitch!" he yelled at me, slapping my face.

"I....can't...breathe..." I said between sobs and gasping for hair.

"I'll make it to where you don't ever draw another breath if you don't shut up!" he said.

I closed my eyes, and tried to breathe in slowly through my nose, but it was difficult. I said a silent prayer that it would end soon.

Kenny had left me laying in the grass on that secluded road when the rain started falling. I was hurting, bleeding, and still sobbing tearless, body racking sobs. When I was sure Kenny was gone, I pulled myself to my feet and started walking toward the main highway.I was holding the torn strap of my dress up with one hand, holding my shoes in the other. It hurt to walk, my hips and thighs and pelvic area were insanely sore. The pavement was hurting my feet, but I didn't care. I just wanted to get home and in my bed. I was only a mile or two from the school, so home wasn't much farther. I just hoped I could make it. I had been walking for about half a mile when the thunder and lightning started. It was muggy outside and my hair was falling, sticking to my face and neck. There were no cars on the road, I figured it must be late, at least ten o'clock, and everyone from school was probably at the prom after party by now, which was six miles in the other direction. I decided to keep walking toward my own home, take a shower, go to bed, and pretend this whole night had never happened. I could finally see the school when a pair of headlights came up behind me. The car slid to to a stop beside me, the driver's door flew open and I heard my name. The familiar voice brought tears of comfort to my eyes.


	6. SLOW DANCE

**CHAPTER 6-SLOW DANCE**

"Lyndsey!!" Nixon called again. I could barely see him through the pouring rain.

"Nix....." I said, choking back a sob. With all the rain, I couldn't tell if actual tears were falling again or not. All I knew was that I was glad to hear my best friend's voice.

"Oh my God, what happened? Are you okay? Babe, what happened? Here....take my coat."  
Nixon shed his suit coat and handed it to me to put on. I put it on and pulled it shut.  
"Who did this to you?" he asked. We were still standing in the pouring rain. I shook my head, too afraid to tell.

"Lyndsey, we're best friends, tell me who hurt you. I know we haven't been as close lately as we used to, but you can still trust me....talk to me, Lynds...tell me who hurt my girl."  
"I can't."  
"Why not? Did Kenny do this to you?"  
I cried harder, nodding. I could trust him.

"Oh hell no. Fuck no. I'm gonna kill that bastard. Where is he?"  
I had never seen my sweet Kenneth so angry. His eyes were so dark brown they were almost black, and his bright smile was now a hard, angry frown. His jaw and fists were clenched; he was ready to fight.

"Come on, get in out of this rain. Come on." he said, placing a hand on the small of my back, guiding me toward the car. I sat down in the passenger seat, trembling. He got in the driver's seat and shut the door, flipping on the interior light.

"Oh my God....Lynds..." he reached out to touch my face, but I turned away.  
"Nix, just take me home, please. We can't tell anyone about this, he'll kill me."  
"Can you call your dad and tell him you're staying with me?"

"Why?"  
"Because, we need to talk."

"Yeah, I guess."

"Here. Use my dad's cell phone. Call your dad and tell him you're staying at my house with me."

I dialed my house number and my dad answered groggily on the third ring.

"Hello?"  
"Daddy, I'm gonna stay at K-Wayne's house tonight, okay?"

"Okay, sweet pea, I'll see you tomorrow."  
"Alright, night Daddy." I replied, breathing deeply. I was trying hard not to start crying again.

I handed Nixon the cell phone back and looked to him helplessly.

"God...Lyndsey, you have no idea how badly I want to fucking kill him right now."  
"Nixon, please, just....let's go."

He didn't reply. He just turned off the interior light and drove. We were silent the entire three miles to his house. He helped me out of the car and into his room.

"I'm gonna get you some dry clothes, you have to be freezing." he said, pulling clothes out of his dresser.

"I'm gonna take a shower...then we'll talk." I replied, taking the clothes from his hands.  
"Okay...take your time."

Nixon sat on the bed while I went into his bathroom, on the verge of tears once again. I peeled his wet suit jacket off and hung it on the back of the door, then realized I'd need his help to get out of my dress. I cracked the door and stuck my head out.  
"Hey, Nix..."

"Yeah?"  
"Can you come unzip this dress for me?"  
"Sure."

I turned my back to him and allowed him to unzip the back of my dress.

"Thanks." I replied, managing a weak smile.

"No problem....take your time. I'll wait out here for you."

I nodded, shutting the door as he walked away. I turned the water all the way to hot, climbed in, and slid the curtain shut. I let the water pour down over my body for a few minutes before bathing and washing my hair. Even though I was physically clean, I still felt absolutely filthy. I got out and pulled on the black t-shirt and plaid pajama pants Nixon had given me to wear. He'd probably never get them back. I opened the bathroom door and crossed the room, climbing into the bed and laying my head on my best friend's chest.

"Nix, I'm scared....." I told him.

"You wanna tell me what happened? I mean, I can guess, but...."  
"We left the restaurant and he was driving to the place where prom was...he pulled off on some side road, parked the car, and started kissing me....I tried to stop him, but he pinned me up against the door...told me not to fight him....said if I told anyone he'd kill me."

I wiped at my face as the memories of the night replayed in my head. I could feel Nixon's heart rate increase through his chest.

"So...he...."  
"Yeah....he raped me." I whispered.

Nix kissed my forehead, something he hadn't done in a long time.  
"You need to tell the police, sweetheart....you don't want him to do this again....to you or anyone else. I know he told you not to tell anyone, but you have to....I'll go with you."  
"Nix, I can't, he'll kill me."  
"Lyndsey, honey, I'm not gonna let anything happen to you."

"Will you take me?"  
"Yeah, do you wanna go right now?"  
"I can't go right now."  
"Why not?"  
"Nixon. I'm not even dressed fully."  
"I'll take you home to get some regular clothes if you want to go."

I hesitated for a moment.  
"Can we just go tomorrow? I really just want to sleep."  
"If you want to, yes."

"I want to."  
"Okay, but in the morning, we're going to the cops."  
I nodded in agreement and shut my eyes, still holding onto my best friend.  
"Nix...." I said after he turned the light off.

"Yeah?"  
"I don't think I can ever call you by your first name ever again."  
"I don't blame you...."  
"Nixon, I need you to do me a favor..."  
"What's that?"  
"I need you to promise me something."  
"Anything."  
"Promise me you won't ever abandon me....or hurt me....not like Kenny...."  
"Lyndsey, you know me better than that."  
"Nix, we haven't been as close the past few months, not since you and Adrian started dating."  
"Well....you don't have to worry about that anymore."  
"What?"  
"She got mad at me...for leaving to look for you."

"Are you serious?"

"Yep..."

"Wow...I'm sorry."

"Don't be...I've missed you the past few months anyway."  
"I've missed you too. You're my best friend."  
"You're mine, too. I was gonna ask you to dance with me at prom, too."

"You were?"  
"Yeah, I was saving a slow dance for my best friend."

"Awww....I love you, Nix."  
"I love you too...."  
"I would've said yes, had I ever made it to prom."  
"You wanna dance now?"

"Now? Here? In your bedroom? In our pajamas?"  
"Why not?"

Nixon and I got up and he flipped the light back on. He took my hands, wrapping them around his neck, and placed his hands on my waist, humming the tune of "Iris" by GooGoo Dolls. I laid my head on his chest, comforted, feeling safe for the first time all night.

"Don't let this end now.....slow this dance down." I said a moment later.  
"I might have to use that line in a song someday..." he replied, never missing a step.

"Feel free....just don't let this end...please." 


	7. SECURITY

**CHAPTER 7-**

The next day, Nixon and I woke to the sound of the telephone ringing at 3 PM. My dad wanted to know when I'd be home. I told him I'd be there in a little while to get some clothes, but I was going out with Nixon for the day. He agreed, saying he thought it was a good idea, and that he was glad Nixon and I were hanging out again. He said he was at work, he'd see me later, he loved me, and he'd see me whenever I came home. I was grateful he wouldn't be there when I got home, because I was still a little bruised and scraped up. Nixon dressed and we got into his car, drove to my house, and I changed into a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. I grabbed my purse in case I'd need it, and we headed to the Hendersonville Police Department.

I walked into the police department holding tightly onto Nixon's hand. His touch was the most comforting thing since my baby blanket. We walked up to the first desk and waited for the officer to look up.

"How can I help you?"  
"I need to file a report....a....um..." I started.  
"A what?" the officer replied.  
"I was raped."  
"Have a seat."

The officer pulled a stack of papers out of a drawer and grabbed a pen out of a cup.

"I'm going to ask you a series of questions. Is that okay?" he asked.

"Yes sir." I replied.  
"Okay, when did the incident occur?"

"Last night."

"What time?"  
"Around 8 PM I'd say."

"Do you know who did it to you?"  
" Allen 's eighteen and he goes to Gallatin High School. We were on our way to prom."  
"Were you drugged?"  
"No."  
"What's your name?"  
"Lyndsey Grace Carmichael."

"Age?"  
"Seventeen."  
"Did this young man witness the incident?"

"No."  
"Did anyone witness it?"  
"Just me and Kenny."  
"Have you gone to the hospital?"  
"No."  
"Okay. Let me make a few phone calls. You're going to need to call your parents. They'll have to give consent for you to have a rape kit done."  
"My...my parents?"  
"Will that be a problem?"  
"No sir."  
The officer picked up the phone and started making calls. I looked to Nixon, helpless. I didn't want to tell my dad at all, this was going to stay between us. Reluctantly, we both rose from our seats and Nixon walked with me to the pay phone in the lobby. I put two quarters in the slot and dialed my dad's number, tears forming in my eyes.

"Hello?" Dad's voice came.

"Daddy...I need you to come down to the police department."  
"What happened?"  
"Something happened last night...can you just come down here? I need you to sign some paperwork."

"Did Kenneth do something to you?"  
"Not Nixon, no...."  
"Your prom date?"  
"Daddy, I'm at the Hendersonville Police Department....just get here as soon as you can, okay?"

I hung the phone up and let the tears fall. How was I supposed to tell my father I'd been raped? Nixon took me by the hand and led me back to the officer's desk. We sat down in the hard wooden chairs, never letting go of one another's hands. The officer asked me a few more questions, which I tearfully answered, while we waited on my dad. He came sprinting in, dripping wet from the pouring rain outside.  
"What the hell happened?" he demanded.

"Daddy, Kenne...." I couldn't finish my sentence without sobbing.

"You want me to tell him?" Nixon asked, leaning over, rubbing my back. I nodded, still unable to speak.

"Stay right here. I'll be right back, okay?" he said. I nodded once more. He kissed my forehead and stood up, walking into the lobby with my dad. They returned a few moments later, silent. Nixon pulled up a chair on the other side of me and my dad sat down in it. Nixon returned to his previous spot and took my hand back into his. My breathing returned to normal and the tears stopped as the officer explained to us what would happen over the next few days. I would go to the hospital, have an exam done, and Kenny would be arrested and questioned. He would also be jailed, and depending on certain circumstances, he may or may not have a bond. Lawyers would be contacted and appointed. It would be a short, quick process, hopefully, and soon, Kenny would be in jail for a very long time.

We left the police department for the hospital once my dad signed the release forms.

"Ken...Nixon...I appreciate you being there for Lyndsey...but I'm going to take things from here." Dad said to Nixon in the parking lot.  
"Daddy, I want Nixon to go. Please."  
"Lyndsey, I don't think that's appropriate."  
"Daddy, please." I begged, tears forming once more. Nixon was my new security blanket. Not only did I want him there, I needed him there. Dad hesitated for a moment, but nodded.  
"You gonna ride with him or me?" he asked.  
"I'll ride with Nix...we'll meet you there."

Nixon and I got into his car and my dad got into his truck next to us and started it up. I turned to Nixon.

"Nix..." I said timidly.  
He turned to me, his face wet with tears, causing my eyes to water yet again.  
"Lynds, you have no idea how bad I want to kill that bastard..." he said.I reached over, wiping his cheeks with my thumbs.

"Please...don't cry...I can never thank you enough for being here for me..."

Nixon kissed my cheek and started the car. We rode silently to the hospital, radio at full volume. We arrived right after my dad and made our way into the emergency room. I told the triage nurse my name and she handed me a clipboard of paperwork to fill out. Once I was done I turned it in and sat back down, waiting for them to call me back. I sat down next to Nixon, leaned my head on his shoulder, and closed my eyes. I had just drifted off when the nurse called my name.

"Lyndsey Carmichael?"

I opened my eyes, yawned, and stretched. I rubbed my face to wake myself up. I rose to my feet and stretched some more. My dad stood up, ready to walk to the back with me.  
"Um...Daddy...I don't think I want you to go back there for this."  
"Oh...okay."  
My dad sat down, looking dejected.  
"It's not that I don't want you there, it's...I think it would be somewhat awkward."  
"I understand. I'm going to step out for a smoke then."  
My dad hadn't smoked in years. I guessed he was doing it because of nerves. I looked to Nixon, hoping I wouldn't have to say anything. He gave a slight nod and once my dad was out the door and out of sight, stood and walked toward the nure with me.  
"Lyndsey?" she asked.

"Yes."

"Right this way."

I was thankful she didn't ask who Nixon was. She just allowed him to go back through the double doors with me. She led us down a corridor of curtained rooms, around a corner, and into a room set up for a pelvic exam, where a doctor from the police department was waiting. She handed me a gown and explained what would happen during the exam. I nodded in response, unfolded the gown, and pulled my shirt off. Nixon walked into a corner, faced it, and placed his hands over his eyes.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"I'm not watching you change. Let me know when you're finished."  
I smiled to myself. He was such a sweetheart, such a gentleman. I pulled off my jeans and underwear, pulled the gown on, and held it shut. I climbed up on the table, shaking. What an awkward situation to be in.  
"Hey Nix. Come sit over here with me, please? I'm scared." I said.

Nixon turned, his hands still over his eyes, fingers spread apart, and inched toward me. He pulled up a stool and faced me, taking my left hand into both of his. He smiled his beautiful smile at me, his brown eyes still darker than usual.

"You are really the best friend a girl could ask for." I told him.  
"This is really the most awkward situation I've ever been in. I wouldn't do this for anyone else."  
"I'm sorry." I said.

"No worries. I want to be here for you. What are best friends for?"  
I smiled weakly at him while the doctor continued her exam. Nixon being there made it slightly less uncomfortable, but I was still sore from the night before. About half an hour later, we wrapped up and Nixon hid in the corner while I re-dressed. I signed off on the paperwork and Nixon and I walked out of the room, hand in hand, right into my father.

"Okay, so he can come with you, but I can't?" he said.  
"Daddy, it's not like that. I just felt more comfortable with him."  
"Why him? Why not me? I'm your father."

"Exactly, you're my dad. Nixon's....my best friend...."  
"Nixon needs to go home."  
"Daddy....don't be that way."  
"I'll be whatever way I want to. You're coming with me and he's going home."

I tightened my grip on Nixon's hand, not wanting to let go. He was my security blanket, I needed him, and my dad was trying to force us apart.  
"I'll go, Lynds. Don't fight with your dad over me. I'll talk to you later." Nixon said, letting go of my hand. He kissed me on the cheek and I watched him walk away, tears threatening to spill over my lashes. I stormed out of the hospital and out into the still pouring rain, walked to my dad's truck and waited for him to come unlock the doors. He walked out of the hospital, an umbrella over his head, and unlocked the truck. I got in, slammed the door, and folded my arms across my chest, tears and rainwater streaking my face. My dad climbed into the cab of the truck and shut the door.

"Lyndsey...I don't want you seeing that boy anymore."

"What?!"  
"I know it's inevitable for you to see him at school, but other than that, you are not to see him. Not for a while anyway."

"That is completely unfair! He did nothing wrong!"

"I just don't like how comfortable you two are with one another. I know you say that you guys are nothing but friends, but I do not want you seeing him. Am I clear?"  
"Whatever."  
"Lyndsey."  
"Yes. Clear. Crystal clear. Can we just go home? If I can't be with Nixon, I want to be alone, so let's just go." I replied.


	8. 23 DAYS

**CHAPTER 9-TWENTY THREE DAYS**

Monday morning my dad nearly caught Nixon in my room. He knocked on my door to wake me just as Nix slid my window shut on his way out. I rolled out of bed and got dressed, foregoing makeup and hair details. I grabbed my book bag for later and climbed sleepily into the cab of my dad's truck. He drove to the police station and we signed the paperwork to file assault and rape charges on Kenny, met breifly with our lawyer, and Dad dropped me off at school on his way to work.

I walked into the office to check in and found Luke, Chris, Brandon, Tim, and Nixon, who was holding a bag of ice to his face, sitting around.

"What....happened?" I asked, glaring at all of them.  
"Talked back to a teacher." Chris said.

"Smoking in the bathroom." Luke replied.

"Again?" I asked. He just nodded in return. I looked to Tim. There was absolutely no telling what he was in trouble for today.

"Too many tardies." he said, shrugging. I wasn't surprised.

"I skipped class." Brandon said. I looked to Nixon, somewhat sympathetic since he was visibly injured.

"Honestly? I'm not even going to lie. I beat Kenny's ass."

My heart stopped. Kenny was there? I couldn't be near him, no way. I felt short of breath, on the brink of a panic attack almost. Fear overtook me, I began shaking, otherwise unmoving. Moments later, I felt Nixon's arms wrap around me and my heart rate slowly return to normal.  
"Hey, calm down. The police came and took him away, he's not gonna hurt you anymore. Didn't I promise you? Everything's gonna be fine...trust me. I'll be in class in a little bit."

Nixon let go of me and took his seat while I checked in and headed to class. I opened the door and the room turned dead silent. I handed my note to the teacher and took my seat in the back of the class, took out my books, and tried not to focus on the whispers surrounding me. By the time third period ended, Nixon was back from the office, with three weeks of alternative school to serve starting that Wednesday, and I'd learned to ignore the whispers. We took our usual spot in the lunchroom, away from everyone else, and sat down. His lip was still swollen and his eye was starting to turn dark where Kenny had punched him.

"So, I know the truth...why did the guys lie to me? Why were they in on the fight? They don't know, do they? " I asked.

"They didn't want you mad at them...and no, they don't know. Kenny was bragging to people that the reason you guys didn't come to prom was because you went back to his house and you guys fucked. I was already pissed enough, but for him to say that...to make you out to be some kind of....whore...hell no. Not happening. No one messes with my girl. "

I just stared. I wished in a way that he would stop calling me his girl. In a way it led me on, but in another way, I liked it. Either way, I was still not allowed to see him outside of school, not that we really abided by that rule. Nixon had now spent two nights at my house and I'd asked him to come back again. He didn't know if he could, considering he'd gotten in a fight and had alternative school, and I didn't think I could make it through the night without him. He made me feel safe, and I didn't want the nightmares to return. The bell rang for fourth period and Nixon and I grabbed our books and walked together to pre-cal. Along the way, I got a few dirty looks and snickers cast at me. "Don't pay them any mind. You and I know the truth. That's all that matters." Nixon whispered into my ear. I nodded and walked forward. Nixon was right, I didn't need to pay them any mind. Soon enough the chatter would stop and they'd have someone new to gossip about. Little did I know it would be the very next morning. I walked into school the next day surrounded by chatter about Kenny's arrest. He'd been charged with rape and assault. Who had he raped and assaulted? Was that why Nixon and his friends jumped him? The gossip had my head spinning, but at least the focus was taken off of me. How had the news gotten out so quickly? I rushed to first period and sat down beside Nixon.

"Hey...uh...how did everyone find out about...." I started. Nixon didn't speak. He simply turned around and handed the newspaper to me. Kenny's mugshot and an article were on the front page.

**GALLATIN TEEN ARRESTED, CHARGED WITH RAPE AND ASSAULT**

_A Gallatin teenager was arrested Monday on charges of rape and assault. Kenneth Williams, 18, was arrested and charged with assault and rape of a minor. The incident occurred Friday night and a warrant was issued on Saturday afternoon. _

The article went on to say that Kenny had a prior record of three assault charges, and two attempt to rape charges, where he was charged as an adult and let go on parole at the age of seventeen. How did we never know? How did he keep it hidden? How did he get into school with a record like that? Suddenly I felt sick, absolutely nauseated. At least my name wasn't listed in the paper, that was good. I laid the paper on the riser behind me and buried my face in my hands.

"He's in jail. He's not gonna get out. Not anytime soon anyway." Nixon said, still staring straight ahead.

"That's good though...he can't do this to anyone else...ever again." I replied.

"Yeah, it's great...I'm not saying it's not. I'm just in shock. I mean...he had a prior record and they let him in here? In a public school?" he said, leaning back and finally looking me in the eye.  
"I know...I can't believe it either. I'm just...glad he's locked up."

"I am too." I replied.  
"Yeah...so...my dad grounded me...and I'm not gonna be able to come over at night anymore...."  
"I know. I'm sorry...maybe I'll be okay...are you grounded from everything?"  
"Not your fault. And no, I'm just grounded from going anywhere...and Dad said he knew I'd been sneaking out at night, and that if he caught me I'd be dead."

I smiled softly at him. He covered a yawn and sat back upright as the teacher came in and called class to order. Days passed by and Dad and I met with the lawyers at least four times in two weeks. Kenny had confessed to the rape, so we were trying to settle out of court. I wasn't worried about money, I simply wanted Kenny locked up, that was all. I was still not allowed to see Nixon outside of school, not that I'd seen him anyway, he'd been in alternative school all the way up until we got out for Spring Break. I was missing my best friend. Something had to be done.

"My dad will come around eventually." I said, sitting on my bed, phone pressed to my ear.  
"Yeah, hopefully, cause you know Spring Break starts Monday. You gonna go two more weeks without seeing me? I'm not grounded anymore, so I could come over if he'd let me."  
"No. I'll probably just ask him if I can see you."

"You think he'll get mad?"  
"I doubt it. He's been in a really good mood lately...and with this whole thing almost settled, I'm sure he'll say yes."

"And we haven't seen each other in how long?"

"Twenty three days." I replied.

Time was not much of a friend at all at that point. I needed a hug, though my temporary depression was gone and I felt much better physically and mentally than I had for the first week. The nightmares were still occuring, just not as intense and not as often. Whenever I'd wake up, I'd call Nixon and we'd talk until I fell asleep.  
"Alright, when you gonna ask him?"  
"Tonight. I'll call you back. He just got home."

"Alright. Love you."  
"Love you too."  
I hung the phone up and ran out to the living room to meet my dad.

"Hey Cupcake." he said, hugging me with one arm, pulling his keys out of the door with the other.

"Hey Daddy....can I ask you something?"  
"Sure...but I've got something to talk about you first."  
"Okay."  
"I'm sorry I kept you and Nixon from seeing one another. I know Spring Break is coming and I don't want you to be completely bored, so I think it'd be alright for you two to see one another again. I trust him, and I trust you, I know you're just friends. Now that this mess is almost all over...." Daddy's voice trailed off and I couldn't help but smile.

"Thank you Daddy, thank you!" I said, throwing my arms around him and hugging him tightly.

"You're welcome, sugar. Now what did you need to talk to me about?"  
"Oh, nothing, it isn't important. I'm gonna go call Nix. Can he come over tonight?"

"I don't see why not."  
I hugged my daddy once more and ran to my room to call my best friend back.

"Yo..."  
"NIXON."  
"LYNDSEY."

"Smartass. Come overrrrrrrrrrr."  
"He said yes?"  
"It was his idea!"

"Really?"  
"YES! Now come over! Or I'll come over there."  
"No, I don't want you walking alone. I'll be there in a few minutes."

I jumped off of the bed and changed quickly, pulled my hair back and ran out to the front steps to wait on Nixon. I was trying not to bounce around too much when I saw him turn the corner. He got out of his car and started walking across the yard toward me, a smile on his face. I felt myself smile my first real smile in weeks. I walked toward him, trying not to run. He wrapped his arms around my waist as I wrapped mine around his neck. We held onto one another for a few moments, just genuinely happy to see one another.

"I've missed you." I said.

"I've missed you too." he replied.  
We pulled apart, still smiling.  
"What do you wanna do?"  
"I dunno. Wanna go for a walk?"  
"We can. I brought my guitar. I wrote a new song I want you to hear."

"Okay. Go get it. We'll go walk later."

Nixon and I walked to his car and he got his guitar out of the back seat. We went inside to my room, shut the door, and sat down. He took his guitar out of its case and began strumming a new melody. I felt myself smile at him as his bangs fell down, brushing his forehead as he concentrated on what he was doing.

"_You can let your guard down_

_You're in a ghost town baby_

_They know no stories, just your name._

_So keep your morals unrevealed,_

_Tonight you're a big deal baby._

_You gotta live up to the fame._

_They would, be just like me and you...._

_If they could, make the same mistakes that we do._

_Why try to fight it when it feels so good?_

_We were misunderstood_

_We are misunderstood._

_Why try to fight it when it feels so good?_

_We were misunderstood_

_We are misunderstood._

_They understand us now._

_Here in this ghost town._

_If you break her heart now_

_Here in this ghost town baby_

_You're gonna get a bad, bad name._

_So keep your secrets unrevealed._

_Just do as you feel baby._

_This city is to blame._

_They would, be just like me and you._

_If they could, make the same mistakes that we do._

_Why try to fight it when it feels so good_

_We were misunderstood_

_We are misunderstood_

_Why try to fight it when it feels so good_

_We were misunderstood_

_We are misunderstood._

_We are, we are one in the same._

_You can lay your head down and know its alright._

_So baby lay your head down, it'll turn out just fine._

_You can lay your head down and know its alright._

_So baby lay your head down, it'll turn out just fine._ " Nixon sang. I felt my heart fluttering, butterflies in my stomach, goosebumps covering my arms. The beautiful lyrics spilling from his perfect lips amazed me. He was such a phenomenal writer. He set his guitar down and brushed his bangs away from his eyes.  
"What do you think?" he asked, looking up at me, his brown eyes sparkling. I moved closer to him, wrapped my arms around him, and laid my head on his shoulder.

"I loved it. Very much. It's beautiful. Just like my best friend."

"You think? I wrote it for my best friend. For some reason it kinda reminded me of her and me."  
"Awwww, really?" I replied, sitting up.

His cheeks were a light pink.  
"Yeah....really." he said.  
"Awww. You are so sweet." I said, leaning in to kiss his cheek. He moved too quickly though, and I missed. My lips brushed his and I swear there were fireworks. I was breathless. It was completely unintentional, somewhat awkward, and absolutely perfect, all at the same time. I didn't know what to say, and apparently neither did Nixon. Neither of us had moved. Our lips were still centimeters apart, both of us stunned.  
"Um..." Nixon spoke first, still unmoving, licking his lips.

"Awkward." I said.

"Definitely."  
"Not bad...just awkward.... right?"  
"Not bad at all. Just awkward.... good, but strange." he replied.

I nodded and sat back, my heart racing, my breathing still erratic. Nixon sat back as well, his cheeks a darker shade of pink now.

"That was way weird." I said. Weird, yes, but I loved it, I craved more. I needed to feel his lips on mine again.

"Yeah it was..."  
"It was like...I dunno...I don't usually kiss my best friends...though my best friends are typically girls...it was awkward like going on a date with Brandon awkward." I said. That was a complete lie, but maybe it would break the ice so-to-speak.

"Yeah. Like...kissing my sister awkward. I don't have a sister...but you know what I mean. It's like, the kiss wasn't bad. It was nice. I haven't kissed anyone in a long time...but...and I don't mean this in a bad way, I don't...I dunno..."

"I love you, but not in that way?" I said, almost like a question.

"Yes, exactly!" he replied. My heart sank. I'd known he probably didn't feel for me like I did for him, but I could hope. This was just confirmation that we'd never be together.

"It would be weird if we ever got together, ya know?" I said.

"It definitely would. You're gorgeous, and funny, and sweet, no doubt, but I'd be afraid to jeapordize our friendship. I'd break your heart." he said.

"Break my heart? You? Sweet Nixon? No way."  
"I would." he said.  
I shook my head. There was no way Nixon was a heartbreaker. Yes, he was gorgeous, at least to me, and sweet...but he wasn't a bad boy heartbreaker, no way. We went for a walk and talked some more about what had been going on with the Kenny case. He said he was glad it was almost over and he could tell I wasn't as stressed as I had been in the beginning.  
"You've lost a little weight." he told me.  
"You think?"  
"Yeah, a little. Just stress I bet."  
"Yeah. I haven't even noticed."

"You're still beatuiful."

"Awww. Nix."

When the sun began to set, we walked back to my house, ordered a pizza, and curled up on the couch to watch a movie while my dad went out with a few of his buddies from work. I was absolutely exhausted and I felt my eyelids getting heavy before the opening credits even finished rolling. The next thing I knew, Nixon was moving, trying not to wake me.  
"Where you going?" I asked sleepily.  
"I was trying not to wake you. I gotta go home. I'll come see you tomorrow though." he said.

"Mm...kay..." I said, sitting up and rubbing my eyes before standing to hug him and say goodbye.  
"You okay? You gonna make it to your room?" he asked, chuckling.  
"Uh huh. Of course. I'm just....sleepy. I haven't been sleeping well." I told him.  
"I know. I'll see you later, okay? Night Lynds. Love you. Call me if you need me."

Nixon hugged me and kissed my forehead and made his way out the door. I walked behind him to lock up. After I locked up, I went into the living room to turn off the TV before heading back to my bedroom. There was a while piece of notebook paper, folded up on the floor by the couch. Across the top was written, in Nixon's unmistakeable handwriting, two numbers and a word. "23 Days", and below that, twelve more words.

_Your kiss was the perfect drug_

_It gave me the perfect high_

My heart skipped a beat when I saw the heart drawn in the corner. _KWN/LGC_ was scrawled inside of it.

"Oh my God." I said aloud.


	9. EMBERS FADE

**CHAPTER TEN-EMBERS FADE**

The words, the heart, the initials, the numbers...they all burned in my brain. It all made perfect sense, but then again, it left me completely puzzled. It was clearly Nixon's handwriting, there was absolutely no doubt about that. The initials were also undoubtedly ours, KWN and LGC. "23 Days" was a fitting title considering how long it had been since we'd seen each other up until then, and the kiss...but if the words on the paper were true, then why did he lie to me about how he felt? Yes, I'd lied about how I felt, so I really had no room to talk when it came to that. But why did he lie? Did he say he had no feelings for me because I'd said I didn't have feelings for him? Because he was afraid to jeapordize our friendship? Fear of rejection? My mind was racing, I was now wide awake, and Nixon had been gone for at least three hours.

The next day, Nixon came over and we drove to Hendersonville to see his mom and little brothers before driving to Nashville for a show at a local club. I didn't look at Nixon the same now, knowing how he may feel about me. I noticed the way he smiled at me was different than the way he smiled at other people. He didn't always have that sparkle in his eye...only with me. I tried to act no differently than I had before, but it was difficult, knowing he possibly reciprocated my feelings, but nothing would be done about it. He'd said he'd break my heart. I didn't care, I just wanted him to be mine.

Nixon paid for both of our dinners before the show and for my cover to get in. He bought us both several waters throughout the evening and then after the show, we stopped at Steak-N-Shake for a sundae before heading home, which he also paid for. Little things he did for me that I never noticed before were so much more obvious now, like him holding doors and pulling out chairs for me. The piece of paper he'd dropped was folded up in my pocket. I debated on giving it back to him, but a part of me wanted to hold onto the only evidence that Nixon loved me too.

"Are you gonna stay the night?" I asked him on the drive home.

"I could if you wanted me to." he replied.  
"If you want to you can. My dad already said you could."

"Alright...well, do you want me to?"  
"Do you want to?"  
"Lyndsey."  
"I asked first."

"No, actually, I did. You started the conversation."

I glared at him. He wanted me to admit that I wanted him to stay. I almost didn't want to give him the pleasure of knowing that I wanted him to, but the curiosity of what his reaction would be was getting to me. I was silent for a moment before giving my reply.

"Nix..."  
"Yes?"  
"Will you stay with me?"

"Like I said before. If you want me to."  
"I do."  
"Do you?"  
"Yes."  
"Hmmm...."

"Pleeeeasssseeee." I whined.  
Nixon shifted in his seat, not taking his eyes off the road. "Alright...I think I've got some clothes in the backseat...I'll stay with you....because you practically begged me."  
"Oh whatever! You made me!"

"So touchy...." he said, laughing.

His laugh made my heart skip a beat and my heart do its butterfly dance. He absolutely amazed me.

"I am not touchy." I said, folding my arms across my chest.

"Aww, Lyndsey...don't pout." he said, poking me in the side.

"Ouch! Mean ass."

"I did not hurt you."

"Yes you did."  
"Do you want me to kiss it?"  
"No, that would be awkward."  
We both laughed. We had been joking all day and night about our kiss and how akward it was. It was so clear to me that it was honestly not awkard to either of us, though. We were hiding our feelings from one another for the exact same reasons. We were both so afraid that the other didn't feel the same, that our friendship could be jeapordized. Some part of me wished we'd put all our fears aside and embrace our feelings for one another. However, a bigger part of me never wanted to take that chance.

We got to my house just after midnight. The house was dark and my dad still wasn't home. I wasn't surprised though. He spent a lot of time out with his friends and his new girlfriend, Carrie. Carrie was nice, with no children, and a good job. She wasn't after dad for his money or for any other underlying reason that I could tell. She made Daddy happy, so I was happy for him. Nixon unlocked the door and flipped on the living room light, then let me into the house, shutting the door behind us.

"Your answering machine is blinking." he said, sitting down on the couch.

I pressed the button and sat down next to him.  
"You have three unheard messages.....first unheard message...sent today at three-forty-seven-P.M." the machine said.

"Hey Cupcake, it's Daddy. I'm not gonna be home tonight so you may want to get Nixon to stay over if you need him to, or you can go to his place. Love you."

"End of message."

I erased the message from my dad, amused by the fact that Nixon was already staying over.

"Second unheard message." the machine said.

"Don't forget to mail off the light bill check in the morning." My dad's second message, erased.

"You little bitch. I told you not to tell anyone. Lock your doors and windows, keep that little toothpick Nixon around, but I'll still get you. You just wait til I get out of here."

I was frozen. I couldn't move, speak, think, breathe, anything. Nixon reached over and hit save, then pulled me close to him. He was shaking beneath me, but held on tightly. He was angry, and I was afraid.

"Nix..."  
"Shh. We'll tell your dad and take this to the laywers in the morning. Shh...just calm down. He isnt' gonna hurt you, baby. I promised you he wouldn't hurt you again and I mean that. I'll keep my promise or I'll die trying."

Suddenly, my entire body went cold and my mouth was flooded with saliva. I could feel my throat burning as I broke out of Nixon's embrace and ran to the bathroom, hitting my knees in front of the toilet just in time. All of my dinner came back up. I was absolutely sick with nerves, in a cold sweat, my breathing heavy and my mouth filled with a bitter aftertaste, tears streaming. I felt Nixon's soft hands brush my neck as he pulled my hair back away from my face. He knelt down next to me, a cool washcloth and a cup of water in his hands.

"I figured you might need this." he said, holding them out.

"Thanks." I replied, taking the rag and wiping my face. I grabbed onto Nixon and stood up, swished some water around my mouth and spit it into the sink. I sat on the ledge of the bath tub, still shaking.  
"You okay?" Nix asked, sitting next to me.

"Yeah, I'll be okay...but I definitely want you to stay now."

"I won't leave you, honey. You know that."

I nodded, leaning my head on his shoulder.  
"I just want to go to sleep now." I said.  
"We can if you want to."  
I brushed my teeth and washed my face, put on my pajamas and crawled in bed next ot Nixon, laying my head on his chest, feeling safe and comforted.

"I forgot to tell you something on the way home." he said.

"What?"  
"Well, the guy that manages the club and I talked, and he wants Silent Ovation to come do a show there."  
"No way!"

"Yes! You have to come."  
"You know I will. I am so excited for you! That is great."

I gave him a squeeze. This was a dream come true for him. All he wanted to do was be successful, and to him, even playing the local scene was success. In his eyes, he had made it, and I was proud of him. The show was the night of the last day of school, and the crowd was actually really into the show. A lot of people from school showed up to support the guys. After the show, Nixon and I packed up the car, and headed south to Panama City Beach for a week to meet Brandon, Chris, and Tim to celebrate the end of our junior year. After we got back, Nixon had several messages from a few different club owners wanting the band to play shows throughout the summer.

The band changed their name to "Embers Fade" as the blazing summer came to an end and our Senior year began.


	10. THIS IS NOT MY STRONGEST POINT

**CHAPTER 11-THIS IS NOT MY STRONGEST POINT**

The first half of Senior year flew by like a jet. College applications piled up, acceptance and rejection letters did as well. Tests, pep rallies, football games, homecoming, parties; we never stopped going. Nixon and I had grown closer than ever over the summer. We both turned eighteen in the fall, and Brandon turned nineteen. The second half was off to a great start, and drawing ever so close to a close. We had ordered caps and gowns, and it was prom season. Nixon and I were going together, as friends, and I was a nervous wreck. Last year's prom held horrible memories for me, but in the year since it had happened, I had become a much stronger person. Prom night crept up, and before I knew it, I was waiting in my living room for Nixon to arrive. His parents were following him over to take pictures of the two of us together. As they were making over us, the limo arrived, full of all of our friends, and whisked us away to the Nashville Ballroom for prom. We all danced together, as a group, and as couples, until the floor was cleared for the king and queen announcement. I knew my name and Nixon's had both been on the ballot, as well as Brandon's, and quite a few of the preppy, upper class, snob nosed students who we never really spoke to.

Nixon and I were discussing what the preps would do if they won when the annoucement was made.  
"First, your prom queen for 2002-2003....drumroll please."  
The ballroom was still full of chatter as a recorded drumroll played.

"Lyndsey Carmichael...."  
I stood, frozen, like cement had dried around my feet. The entire ballroom grew silent, clearly just as shocked as I was.  
"What?" I said.  
"Go. That's you! Congratulations, sweetheart." Nixon said, kissing my cheek. I slowly made my way to the center of the ballroom where a tiara was placed on my head and a sash was draped over me. My heart pounded so loud that I couldn't even hear. Everything sounded muffled.

"And your King...."  
More chatter and another drumroll.

"Kenneth Nixon...."

Oh my God. Nixon? Really? Me and Nixon, prom queen and king? As voted by the student body? Was this a dream? I pinched myself to make sure. It was definitely NOT a dream. This was completely real. Kelly Clarkson's "A Moment Like This" began to play as we took the floor for our solo dance.  
"This is not my strongest point." he said to me, his smile bright, even in the dim light of the chandelier above.

"I know...it's okay..."  
"Can you believe we of all people were voted prom queen and king?"  
"No. Not at all....but it's okay. I don't mind. I'm glad it was you and not someone else."  
"Even Brandon?"  
"Even Brandon. I wouldn't have wanted to share this moment with anyone but my best friend."

Nixon pulled me closer and I laid my head on his chest, moving slowly to the tempo of the music as the other couples took the floor with us in our final dance of the night. Clearly, not only I, not only Nixon, but the entire Senior class knew that Nixon and I belonged together. The rest of Senior year flew by just like the rest had, Nixon and I both decided to go to Middle Tennessee State, and graduation day had finally arrived.

"I can't believe this day is finally here." Nixon said as we stood backstage at graduation, waiting to line up and make our entrance.  
"I know. I'm glad I wore waterproof mascara. I think I may cry."  
"Awww, don't cry."  
"I have a feeling I will."  
"Tears of joy?"  
"Tears of joy, tears of sadness....a little of both."  
"Yeah...you wanna go to Brandon's party with me tonight?"  
"Of course. One final party before we become college freshmen, huh?"  
"Yep...."

The line was called to order and Nixon took his place a few spots behind me. Both of us were graduating with honors, so we got to sit near one another, something that wouldn't have happened if that hadn't been the case. Graduation lasted an hour or so, and I did in fact shed a few tears. Two people tripped and one completely faceplanted, which lightened the mood a bit. I was waiting for either Tim or Brandon to moon the crowd, but they never did. As our alma mater played, we turned our tassels, and threw our caps, a chapter in our lives drew to a close...but a new one was about to begin.

Brandon's house was full of seniors from Gallatin High, smoke, loud music, and alcohol. Nixon and I both did a few shots with our closest friends before heading outside to sit by the pool under the stars, away from the music, for one of our heart to heart conversations.

"Senior year was amazing." Nixon said.  
"Yeah, it was." I agreed, taking a drink of my soda, staring at the reflection of the moon off of the pool water.  
"I don't know that there's anything I would change."  
"Same here. I had a blast. I think ten years from now we may sit around and think man, I partied too much....in the morning we may regret all the liquor we've consumed, but I don't think I'll regret anything else...not saying I don't believe in regrets at all, because I do...but..I don't think we'll regret all the good times."  
"Neither do I...I think people who say they have no regrets are full of shit."  
I laughed, nodding.  
"Oh I completely agree."

"I love you, Lyndsey. I do, you are the best friend I've ever had. I'm glad you moved here. I'm glad we're going to college together..."  
"I love you, too Nix." I said, leaning over and kissing his cheek.  
"You remember that night you kissed me last year?"  
"Yeah?"  
"I have a confession."  
"What's that?"  
"I liked it."  
"You told me that."  
"No...I really liked it. It wasn't awkward. I lied."  
"You did?"  
"Yeah. I was scared to tell you the truth. I don't know why I was scared...but I was."  
"You wanna know something?"  
"Yeah."  
"I liked it too."  
"You wanna do it again?"  
"What?"

"You wanna kiss me again?"  
"Do you want me to?"  
"I just asked you to, what do you think?"  
More people had crowded around the pool and jumped in.  
"Come on."  
I took Nixon by the hand and lead him up the stairs, into one of the guest bedrooms, and pushed him down on the bed.  
I leaned down, kissed his lips softly, and once again those imaginary fireworks exploded. I didn't want to stop kissing him though, and I wasn't entirely sure he was going to let me. We continued kissing, which led to touching, and slowly pieces of clothing came off. I was pinned beneath Nixon as he kissed my neck, in nothing but my underwear and bra, him in nothing but his underwear when he stopped and looked down at me.  
"Are you sure this is okay? We won't regret this?"  
"Yes...no...."

"Yes you're sure or yes we'll regret it."  
"Yes I'm sure." I replied.


	11. YOU TASTE LIKE HEAVEN

**CHAPTER 12-YOU TASTE LIKE HEAVEN.....**

Sweat beaded on both of our foreheads, dripping, sliding, cooling our bodies as they produced more and more heat. My fingertips brushed lightly against his sides, down his hips, and then up his back. Goosebumps rose all over his body as his breathing increased with every move. I moved my hands from his back to his stomach, up across his arms, and up to his perfect face. I traced the outline of his lips with my right index finger as he looked down at me, an unfamiliar hunger in his brown eyes. The buzz from the liquor was long gone for the both of us; we were fully aware of what was going on, and neither of us wanted it to stop. He moved his face closer to mine, his lips a breath away from my own. I had to stop myself from saying "I love you", so I pressed my lips to his. His tongue brushed against my lips, then danced across the inside of my mouth causing tiny electric waves to course throughout my body.

He tore his mouth from mine, our breathing now more labored. The party was going steady downstairs while he moved steadily in and out of me. It was the first time I'd had sex since I'd been raped, and I wasn't sure how long it had been for Nixon. He had been pretty much single since he and Adrian broke up, focusing on playing shows with Silent Ovation and school way more than relationships. I had also remained single, but more because I was insecure and afraid. Though Kenny had been locked up for a year and a half, I was still emotionally scarred and self-conscious. Nixon made me feel beautiful though. The way he touched me that night and the way he looked at me were comforting, even more than ordinarily. I closed my eyes, letting myself become lost in euphoria. I had only wished that someday Nixon and I would be in this very situation. Now that we were, I didn't want it to end, but I knew it had to eventually.

The music and my heartbeat seemed to pound together along with other various parts of my body when Nixon slowed down and eventually stopped. He laid next to me for a few moments as our breathing returned to normal and the heat and humidity our bodies had created seemed to slowly evaporate.

"That was..." I said.  
"Yeah..."

"Nice...very nice....I don't know what else to say...."  
"Neither do I...not without sounding like a jackass."

"You think maybe we should get back to the party before someone notices we're gone?"

"Probably."

Nixon and I got up, found our clothes, and re-dressed. I pulled my hair back into a ponytail and cracked the door to see if anyone was standing around before slipping out ahead of Nix, who was trying to make the bed. I went downstairs, past a few tongue tied couples, and into the kitchen to get a drink of water. Walking felt a bit awkward, and I was still burning up, but I played it off, hoping no one would ask where we'd been. I leaned against the counter, sipping at my glass of water.

"Nixon...where the hell have you been fucker?" Chris asked. Nixon had apparently descended the stairs and his friends had obviously realized he'd been gone.

"I think fucker may be a quite literal term." Brandon said. I nearly choked on my water. How did they know?!

"He does have that glow." Luke said, laughing.  
"Awww, our little Nixon is all grown up! He's not a virgin anymore."  
My glass fell to the floor, shattering. _No. No way. There is absolutely no way I took his virginity. Was there? No, no, no! _

Suddenly, I felt guilty. Had I really taken his virginity? Was I really his first?

"Ya'll shut up...." Nixon mumbled.

_Oh my God. No._ I thought. I really had taken his virginity. What about Adrian? The questions were burning in my brain, I had to know. I carefully stepped over the glass and walked into the next room, grabbing Nixon by the hand and leading him outside.

"What was that?" I demanded. Nixon brushed his hair from his eyes and stuck his hands in his pockets. He didn't speak.  
"Nixon."  
"What?"  
"Why didn't you tell me?"  
"Tell you what? That I was a virgin before tonight?"  
"Yes! Do you know how guilty I feel right now?"  
"Lyndsey, don't feel guilty."  
"Nixon, I had my virginity taken away by....I don't even have to tell you, because you know! I wish so much I could go back and change that, I wouldn't have let it be him....I regret that so much....and one day, I'm afraid you'll regret this...Nix...." a tear slid down my cheek. I felt absolutely horrible. I had just taken away my best friend's innocence. Sure, it was consential, but nonetheless, I had taken something he could never get back.  
"Please, Lynds. Don't cry. Don't feel bad. I wouldn't have it any other way. I won't regret it, I swear. You're my best friend and I love you. At least it was you and not Adrian, or some other random girl."

"Yeah, that's true, but Nix....oh my God...I don't know what to say...or do...what can I do?"

"Nothing. It's done. I wouldn't change a thing, either. Do you regret this? Do you think you will? If it hadn't been him, who would it have been? Don't count him, count me...let me be your first. We can be each other's first...." he said.

I looked up at him. For more than a year I had known how he felt about me, and never, until that night, had either of us made a single move on one another. We'd just let it all go, though we had been told a thousand times we should get together, plus voted prom king and queen. We knew how we felt about one another, I knew we belonged together, hell, all of Gallatin knew we belonged together...yet we were still best friends....just best friends.

"God, Nixon. I wish you had told me."  
"Would you of still done it?"  
"No, probably not."

"Exactly. That's why I didn't tell you. Lyndsey, I wanted it to be you."

"You wanted it to be me?"

"Yes....I did. I wanted it to be you a long time ago. I was just always scared to tell you....look, I'm sorry I didn't tell you, but I don't regret this. Not at all...."  
I wrapped my arms around him. I didn't know what else to do but hug him. I didn't regret it either, honestly. I was happy with what had happened. We had just graduated high school, and the only guy I ever loved had just made love to me. What more could a girl want?

"Hey you two. LOOK." Brandon's voice called. We both looked over at him. He had a camera in his hands.

"Pictures of a night we'll never remember...smile." he said. Nixon held me tight and smiled.  
"Okay. On the count of three! One, two, three." Brandon counted.

On three, the camera flashed and Nixon pressed his lips to mine, taking my breath away.  
"Holy fuck." Brandon said.

"My thoughts exactly." I whispered.

"Dude are you two....holy shit....I gotta go tell everyone." Brandon said, turning around and going back inside.

"What was that?" I asked.  
"I dunno. I just wanted to kiss you again."

"Why?"  
"Because...I like the way your lips taste. Is that a problem?" he asked, smirking.  
"No...what do you mean you like the way my lips taste?" I replied.  
"You taste like heaven." he said, leaning down, kissing my lips softly once more. I wrapped my arms around his neck, tangling my fingers in his dark hair. The night air whipped around us, sending chills all over my body.

"So...heaven?" I asked.

"Absolutely...I wouldn't mind a little taste of heaven more often."  
"What are you trying to say, Mister Nixon?"  
Nixon licked his lips, his eyes sparkling more than ever.  
"I'm trying to say that I think there could be something more than what we've been."

"You think so?"  
"Why not give it a go?"  
"What about that fear of jeapordizing our friendship thing?"  
Nixon shook his head. I understood, and I couldn't help but smile. He leaned down and kissed me once more and all of our friends started clapping, whistling, and cheering.

"It's about damn time!" Brandon said.

I laughed beneath Nixon's kiss as the fireworks shot off in the distance.


	12. FRAMING HANLEY

**CHAPTER THIRTEEN-FRAMING HANLEY**

College flew by twice as fast as high school had with three times as many parties, ten times the alcohol, and a million times more work. Before we knew it, we were in our third year, it was 2006, and Embers Fade had a rabid local fanbase. Nixon and I had been together the entire time. Our relationship wasn't perfect, but what relationship is? Despite our minor tifts every now and again, we were extremely happy. We were always together, along with Brandon, Luke, Chris, his fiancee Ashley, and Tim. Nixon and I did spend time together apart from the group, and one another, however. Ashley was a photography major and she and I became close friends, so she and I spent a lot of time together as well.

"I wonder if they'll ever make it out of Nashville." Ashley said to me one night. We had just gotten back to our apartment from sitting at the guys' practice. Ashley had taken up another roll of film that afternoon, nothing unusual.

"I dunno. Hopefully they will soon."

"I hope so...they deserve it."  
"Amen, girl. Amen..."

"Well, I'm gonna go. Jessica and I are going out tonight. You and Nixie have a date, right?"  
She always called him Nixie. She had become close to him as well, not just me.

"Yep yep. Early birthday date since they have a show on my birthday."  
"That's right. Alright girl, have a blast. Lock the bedroom door." she said, laughing.  
"Ha...I will!"

"Love ya."  
"Love you too, Ash."

The door closed behind my friend, I went into my room, showered and changed, readying myself for my date with Nixon. I had just finished drying my hair when the phone rang.

"Hello?"  
"Lynds..."

Nixon was on the other end, clearly upset. His voice was cracking and I could practically see the tears rolling down his face. My heart jumped into my throat, pouding.  
"Nixon? What's wrong, Baby?"  
"There was an accident."  
"What?"  
"Ashley...they took her to Middle Tennesee and they said it doesn't look good...she was non-responsive...they're airlifting her to Vandy."  
My heart stopped and tears threatened to fall.  
"Baby, where are you?"  
"I'm on my way..."  
"Where are you?"  
"Almost there. I'll be up in a minute."  
"Don't come up. I'll come down and we'll go."  
"I love you, Lyndsey."  
"I love you, too, Nixon. I'll meet you downstairs, okay?"  
I grabbed my purse and nearly ran down the stairs. Tears were no longer threatening, but streaming down my face. Ashley had to be okay. She was a strong girl, a fighter, she'd pull through this...that's what I was telling myself, and that's what I'd tell Nixon.

He pulled up and I yanked the door open, threw myself into the car, and slammed the door shut.  
"Lynds." Nix said, his voice cracking.

I looked at my boyfriend, who I hadn't seen so broken in a long time. I didn't know what to do or say; every thought I'd had running through my head had run away. I leaned over and kissed his cheek. I was lost for words. Nixon composed himself enough to drive the half hour to Vanderbilt Medical Center in Nashville. I couldn't understand why they didn't transport her by ambulance, it wasn't that far from one hospital to another, and ambulances could drive at higher speeds than normal traffic. It must have been really serious. I didn't dare ask Nixon, I just prayed a silent prayer and stared out the window. Dark clouds were on the horizon, something that made Nixon rather uncomfortable. He hated storms. I had a feeling that those black clouds were looming over Vanderbilt Medical Center.

We parked in the parking tower next to the emergency room and practically ran through the now pouring rain into the waiting room. It was full of people from school, the entire band, and our friend Dustin, all sitting around, just waiting. I walked over to Chris, knelt down in front of him, and took his hands into mine.

"She's gonna be okay, right?" he asked.

Tears filled my eyes. How was I supposed to answer that? I had no idea what to do or say. I hadn't seen her or heard anything myself, but Chris was my friend and he needed comfort. I reached up with my right hand and softly touched his face.

"Of course, sweetie. She's a fighter. Have they let you back there to see her yet?"

"No, not yet. Her parents are back there. They said they'd come get us, two or three at a time, in a little bit.."

I nodded and stood, wrapping my arms around him. It was all I knew to do. Chris was so sweet, and he was so in love with Ashley. I hoped that, at least for his sake, she would pull through. Nixon and I took a seat and waited silently with everyone else. Apparently she had been broadsided by a truck much bigger than her car, which upon impact went spinning and hit another vehicle. Hours passed and only Chris was allowed in the back. My heart grew heavy; I knew that couldn't mean anything positive. Nixon and I finally went home to my apartment around two A.M. so we could get some sleep before class.

We had both finally drifted off to sleep when the phone woke us at half past five.

"Hello?" Nixon's sleepy voice came from beside me. I closed my eyes, trying to force myself to go back to sleep.

"Oh God....no...."

I opened my eyes and sat up, looking to Nixon. Tears were falling from his eyes, the phone still pressed to his ear. I knew this couldn't be good at all. I wrapped my arms around him, leaning in closer so I could hear the voice on the other end.

"....gotta make arrangements...can you guys come down here? I need you guys."  
My heart shattered and now my lashes were wet with tears. Nixon told Chris we'd be there soon and hung up the phone. He turned slightly, wrapped his arms around me, and we both just held one another and cried, not speaking.

"They pronounced her dead at 5...there was nothing they could do." he said through his tears.

I wiped tears from my face and nodded. I got out of bed, pulled on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt and grabbed my purse. We got into the car and drove toward Nashville, once again in complete silence.

Ashley's funeral was held three days later. When Nixon and I returned home, I went to shower. He sat down at the computer to check his email, the band's Myspace, and the school message boards.  
I was rinsing my hair when I heard him yell.

"LYNDSEY!"

I heard Nixon run through the aparment and the bathroom door swung open and hit the wall.

"What?" I asked, sticking my head out of the shower.  
"BRETT HESTLA...he....he wants us to come to Orlando and he wants to work with us...and help us record a demo..."

I shut off the water, stepped out, and wrapped a towel around myself.

"Have you called the rest of the guys yet?"  
"No, but I need to...it's just been a long few days...should I tell them tonight?"  
"Babe, it's been a long few days...I think we could all use some good news...and this is great news."  
"Yeah..."

We kissed and he left me alone to dress, a smile on his face for the first time in days. When I finished dressing I made my way into the living room where I found Nixon sitting on the couch, on the phone with one of the guys. He was still smiling.

"Yeah dude, I know...I gotta give him a call here in a bit and let him know we'll be there....yeah....yeah...alright. I'll see you tomorrow man."

Nixon hung up and laid the phone down.

"Well, I ran this by Brandon, Luke, and Tim...we're gonna tell Chris about it before we head to Orlando. We're changing the band name."  
"Oh yeah?"  
"Yep."  
"To what?"  
Nixon smiled broadly, his brown eyes sparkling.

"Framing Hanley."


	13. SONG ON THE RADIO

**CHAPTER FOURTEEN-SONG ON THE RADIO**

On the sixteenth of November, the guys all loaded into Luke's parents' Suburban and headed toward Orlando for five days to work with Brett Hestla and record a demo. They put together a five song demo, which they brought home and took to our local radio stations. I was driving to get Nixon from work a few nights after Christmas when I first heard it...the first chord of "Hear Me Now" started and I knew immediately what it was. I pulled into the parking lot of Applebees, turned it up as loud as it would go, and rolled down my windows, despite the freezing cold and falling snow. Nixon was walking out the door just as the first chorus hit.

"Tell me that's our CD." he demanded.

"It's not." I said, shaking my head.

"You're fucking joking. It's on the radio?"

Nixon yanked open the door, sat down and listened.  
"It's on the radio Nix...your song is on the radio!"

He pulled out his phone and texted all the guys, letting them know it was on "The Buzz".

"Do you wanna go get a drink to celebrate or something?" I asked him.

"Yeah. Are you hungry? I made a lot tonight, we can eat."  
"We can eat." I rolled up the windows and Nixon and I went in and enjoyed a late night celebratory meal. We headed home, celebrated some more, and fell asleep shortly after dawn.

The next day, I woke up alone in my bed, voices talking excitedly from the living room. I rubbed my eyes and walked into the living room where I found Brandon, Tim, Chris, Luke, and Nixon all sitting on the couch, Nixon holding the phone, all of them smiling broadly.  
"Alright, so you guys meet me at 5 PM at Applebees in Hendersonville, we'll talk details and sign all the paperwork."  
Jeff Hanson, the boys' manager, was on the other line.

"Alright Jeff, we'll see you later man. Thank you once again."  
"No problem, guys. Congratulations."  
Nixon hung up the phone, sat it down, a smile still on his face.  
"What's going on?" I asked.

He jumped up from the couch, walked over to me, and kissed me without hesitation.  
"What was that for?"  
"Babe...WE GOT SIGNED. We're going to record a record...and it's going to be in stores..."

"No way." I replied.

"Yes way. We did it, Lynds. We did it...we made it. Silent Majority is signing us."  
"Oh my God, Nix, that is wonderful. Guys, I am so proud of you all..." I said, tears filling my eyes.

I hugged all five of the boys and went to change clothes. Nixon came in, still smiling, and changed into jeans and a button up plaid shirt, pulled a beanie down over his head, and put his glasses on.

"Do I look like I'm going to sign a record deal?" he asked.

"You look like a rockstar, Baby."  
He grinned at me and slipped his shoes on.  
"Hey, let me take a few pictures of you guys before ya'll go, okay?"  
"You're not gonna come?" he asked, his expression falling.  
"I can if you want me to." I replied.

"I want you to...it would mean the world to me if you came."

I nodded, kissed his cheek, and smiled at him.  
"Nixon, I am so proud of all of you...not only are you the love of my life, you are my best friend...all your dreams are coming true, and I am so happy for you. This is it, honey...you've made it. Whether you sell one record or a million, you've made it."  
Tears dampened my lashes as I spoke these words to Nixon. Everything I said was true. I had prayed and believed and wished and hoped and dreamed that one day these five guys' dreams would come true, and finally, they were. I also knew that somewhere in heaven, Ashley Helen Hanley was smiling down, tears of joy in her eyes, camera in hand to photograph this memorable moment...


	14. THE PROMISE

**CHAPTER FIFTEEN-THE PROMISE**

The boys headed back to Orlando in February 2007 and spent weeks upon weeks writing and recording. Their album "The Moment" was amazing. The first single, "Hear Me Now" got a lot of exposure on the radio. Nixon and I weren't spending as much time together which, after three years of being together almost non stop, was very hard. The boys shot a video for "Hear Me Now" and it made the Fuse countdown a few times. The summer passed by and the release date of the record neared, and I started getting anxious...what was I going to do when Nixon went on tour? How would I function for months at a time without him? Would we last? I surely hoped so; we had been together for so long, four years now, and we had been friends even longer. The old fear of losing him was returning--- something I hadn't felt in a very long time.

We were laying on the couch one night when I finally decided to talk to him about it.

"Nix..." I said, sitting up.

"Yeah?"  
"Can I talk to you?"  
"You know you can. What's up?"  
I took his hands into mine, playing with his fingers.

"It's just...I'm afraid."  
"Of what?"  
"You leaving...and going on tour."  
"Why?"  
"It's just like Hollywood...the boy forgets the girl...and she sits at home and waits...I need you to promise me you won't. You've never lied, Nixon, so please don't..."  
Tears streaked my face and I wiped them away.

"Despite the miles between us, my heart will never change...you're all that it beats for..."  
"I'm not sayin' that I don't believe. I'm exactly where I want to be... don't you take that from me. Promise me nothing will change..."

"You know I still get lost in your eyes?" he said.

I looked up, and my teary eyes met his.  
"I promise you, Lyndsey. Nothing will change..."  
Nixon pulled me close to him, kissing the top of my head. I held onto him tightly, wishing the moment would never end.  
"Come on." he said a few minutes later, standing up and extending his hand.

"What?" I asked, placing a hand in his.

"Just come on...come with me..."

Nix tightened his grip on my hand and pulled me up off the couch. He wrapped my arms around his neck and placed his on my waist.  
"Bring back memories?" he asked.

I smiled, nodding. It did indeed bring back memories, some very old memories that sometimes I wondered if he even remembered. I was so glad that he did.  
"_And I don't want the world to see me..._" he sang softly.

I laid my head on his chest as we slow danced while he sang my favorite song. I felt like almost childlike, and I knew then that there was no way I would be losing Nixon...I knew he loved me; there was no doubt about that. The next night was the CD release party at 12th & Porter in downtown Nashville. The place was sold out, packed wall to wall, with friends, family, classmates, and complete strangers. It was such a proud moment for five guys who never thought they'd make it out of our little town, yet this was their last night in our little town for a few months. The tour began tomorrow, and though Nixon had made a promise to me, I still wished he could stay, or that I could go.

The boys' show went amazingly well, and they stayed afterward and signed copies of the album, posed for pictures, and hung out with a few fans and friends before we all headed out for a late night meal before they took off in Luke's parents' RV for Michigan. I tearfully said goodbye to four of my best friends in a Waffle House parking lot. They all boarded the RV, Luke taking the wheel, and left Nixon and I alone together for one last time.

"I love you." Nixon said, taking my hands into his.

"I love you too." I said, my voice cracking.  
"Shh, don't cry."  
"You just remember the promise that you made..." I told him.

"I will...I'll call all the time, and I'll see you next month, okay?"  
"I'll be here waiting, wishing you could stay...but I'll just remember the promise that you made." 


	15. WAVE GOODBYE

**CHAPTER SIXTEEN-WAVE GOODBYE**

"It's only April, it shouldn't be this hot." Nixon said. The boys were back out on the road again, and the AC on the RV had gone out. Luckily, they were getting it fixed as soon as they got to the next town; Luke's dad knew someone there and it would be fixed by the time the show ended that night...hopefully, anyway. They had been home for a combined total of three weeks since they'd hit the road in August. I missed Nixon terribly, but whenever they had a show within driving distance of home, I'd take the day off and go see them.

"I'm sorry, honey. Any word on if Tim's going to have to have that surgery?"

"Yeah, he is...Tuesday..."  
"Awww, is he having it here?"  
"No, he's going to have it in Colorado Springs...but we've got someone to fill in for him...and he's good."  
"Is he?"  
"Yeah, his name's Ryan. You met him...the young guy."  
"Oh yeah, he's like, seventeen, right?"  
"Eighteen."  
"Eighteen. Wow, he's a baby."  
"Babe. We're only four years older than him."  
I laughed lightly, shifting the phone from one ear to the other.

"He's still a baby."  
"If you say so."  
"I say so."

"We gotta pick him up Tuesday...he's flying into Colorado and playing the show that night with us."

"Well, that's good."

"Yeah...just sucks that Tim is having surgery."  
"Yeah, I know, Baby....I'm sorry."  
"Well, I have good news..."  
"What's that?"  
"After we finish the dates we have scheduled, we're coming home til Tim can come back out on the road."  
"That's awesome! I can't wait to see your face...I miss you so much."  
"I miss you, too...we're gonna write and rehearse and all, but we're going to be home."

"That's great, Nix...well, I've gotta go get ready for work. Call me before you go on, okay?"

"I will. I love you."

"I love you too, honey."  
I hung up the phone and threw the covers off of me, got out of bed, and headed to the shower. I turned the water all the way to hot, climbed in and slid the door shut. I couldn't help but smile at the fact that Nixon would be home soon for a few weeks, maybe even a couple of months, depending on how long Tim took to heal from his surgery. I felt for him, because his back had been giving him problems for years and this wasn't his first surgery. It was serious, and very risky. My selfishness overcame my worry, however, and I finished up my shower, dressed for work, and headed out the door.

Two weeks later, I was sitting on the hood of my car in the parking lot of the storage unit complex where the band parked the RV when they weren't using it. They'd be home any minute now and I couldn't wait to see them---all of them. Tim wouldn't be with them, of course. He was in Colorado, at a rehab facility for his back. The heat was abnormally high for May, and Nashville was in a dry spell...we hadn't had rain for weeks. However, I could almost guarantee that now that Nixon was going to be home, we'd have more than enough rain. Nixon still hated storms, though he was nearly twenty three years old; he wasn't scared of them, he just hated them. I still swear that he never had a problem with them until the night of our junior prom. I got back in my car to wait when the heat became too much. I turned the AC on full blast and rolled up the windows.

Fifteen minutes later, the RV barrelled into the parking lot and I excitedly turned off my car, yanked the keys from the ignition, and got out, slamming the door shut. John parked the RV, the guys got out, and I ran to Nixon, jumped into his arms, wrapping my legs around his waist, arms around his neck.

"Miss me much?" he asked.

"Yes! SO much!"

"I missed you too." he said, setting me down.

I pulled him to me and pressed my lips to his. I'd longed for that taste and feeling for way too long.

"I love you...so much. I'm so glad you're home. All of you." I said, hugging Brandon, Chris, and Luke. Ryan seemed shy, he was leaning against the wall of the storage building, guitar cases on the ground by his feet, cell phone in hand.

"Ryan, you got a ride?" Nixon asked.  
"Nah, I'm trying to get up with my mom."

"Sweetie, we can take you home. Just tell us where you live." I offered.

He smiled slightly, picked up his guitar cases and walked over to our car. I popped the trunk and he slid his guitars in, walked over to the building, grabbed his suitcase and duffle bag, and put them into the trunk as well. Nixon loaded his things in, shut the trunk, and we all loaded in just as a gray rain cloud covered the sun.

"I should've known...it's gonna rain. It always rains when I'm home." Nixon stated.  
"I like the rain. It's romantic," I said.  
"As long as we don't have crazy lightning and tornadoes, I'm good." he replied.

Ryan sat quietly in the back seat, staring out the window. Nixon knew where he lived, so he directed me between our random short conversations. After we dropped Ryan off, we stopped by both of Nixon's parents' houses so he could see his mom and brothers, and his dad before heading back to our apartment.

"It's so good to be home." Nixon said, laying on the couch.

"I bet...I missed you being here." I said, sitting at his feet.

"Come here." he said, holding his arms out.

I laid down next to him as he wrapped his arms around me, kissing my forehead. The rain had begun to fall outside and it was making me sleepy. I'd be perfectly content if Nixon and I never moved. We both soon fell asleep, simply happy to be in one another's arms again.

The rest of May and most of June crept by and the band was still at home, writing and jamming day in and day out, with Ryan. Tim was healing well, but distancing himself from the band. He and Nixon rarely talked anymore, which was starting to take a toll on Nixon, though he tried not to let it show. I came in from work one night to find Nixon sitting on the couch, sipping a beer, staring blankly at the wall.

"Hey Baby..." I said, pulling my keys from the door.

"Hey," he replied simply.

I sat down on the couch, slipped off my shoes, and leaned my head on his shoulder. I let out a long sigh and wrapped my arms around his waist. He lifted the beer bottle to his mouth once more and drained it.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"Nothing. How was work?" he replied, still staring straight forward.

"Fine...are you sure you're okay?"

"Yep."

Nixon got up, threw his bottle in the trash, and sat back down. I could see that tears were starting to form in his chocolate eyes and he was biting his lip ring.

"Baby..."  
"Tim quit. He left the band. He's 'pursing other endeavors', he said..."

I was stunned, completely speechless. Tim, leaving the band? After all the years they had spent together, after all they had been through, he was just going to abandon his four best friends for 'other endeavors'? I, for one, was furious. I'd never really liked Tim a whole lot, but considering he was Nixon's best friend, I tolerated him, and got along with him on most days.

"When did he decide this?"  
"Today. I mean to say I didn't see it coming would be a lie, but..."  
"What are you guys going to do?"  
"Not let our fans down, that's for sure. Ryan's gonna stay on board. We're gonna tour this fall and we're gonna keep going. None of us are going to give up our dreams because he's giving his up." he replied, pulling his laptop onto the arm of the couch and opening it.

"I'll be right back, okay?"  
"Okay...hey, Lynds?"  
"Yeah?"  
"I'm sorry I was a douche. I love you."  
"It's okay, honey...I love you, too."

I went to the bedroom, changed out of my work clothes, and slipped on my favorite thing to wear-- the pair of pajama pants and t-shirt Nixon had given me our junior year, and went back into the living room. I laid down on the couch, my head in Nixon's lap while he blogged about Tim leaving on the band's Myspace.

I saw him reach up and wipe a tear away before hitting the post button. Nixon was such a sensitive soul, if he was hurt, mad, touched, or even sometimes happy, he'd shed at least a tear or two, but rarely in front of his friends. He told me once that I'd seen him cry more than his own mother had. That didn't surprise me. In the first few years of him pursuing music, she always shot him down, telling him to get a real job, swearing they'd never make it. Now, she was around more often, but their relationship still wasn't the best. He was closest to his brothers, Mikie and Dene, and his dad.

"I'm not mad at Tim..." Nixon said later that night, as we laid down to go to sleep.  
"I am. But I understand why you're not...he's your best friend."  
"Yeah, he is...I'm just hurt, ya know? We always talked about making it big together, and he wants to take time off to chill, and do other stuff."

"I know honey...but, to quote this random song by this random ass band...it's time to wave goodbye."  
"I guess you're right..." 


	16. LLLLIKE A LOLLIPOP

**CHAPTER SEVENTEEN-L-L-L-LIKE A LOLLIPOP**

By the middle of July, some of the initial shock of Tim leaving had worn off, and the band was rehearsing, gearing up to head back out on the road--Ryan's first full length tour. They practiced day in and day out, sundown to sunrise, running off of Red Bull, vodka, Bud Light, and never without the 'volcano'. Nixon had picked up on Tim and Brandon's weed habit, and I didn't mind it near as much as I thought I would. He never brought it into our home out of respect for me, which I appreciated.

They were writing non-stop along with rehearsing, and I was in love with a new song Nixon had written called 'The Promise'. However, little did I know, that the night I decided to stick around for practice would be the night a new Framing Hanley was born.

"We should cover Wayne's 'Lollipop'..." Nixon suggested, taking a sip from yet another Bud Light.

Ryan picked up a guitar and started picking the tune to what seemed like the anthem of the summer of 2008...and it sounded amazing. They played it through a few times, each time I heard it, Lil Wayne's version became second best.

"Well...back to business." Nixon said after a late night meal at Waffle House. We all headed back across the street to the rehearsal garage, and I watched the band as they perfected their set. I couldn't get 'Lollipop' out of my head, though, no matter what other song Nixon was singing. The way he sang the "she" sent chills down my spine, and when he sang "like a lollipop", I wanted to grapple him and do just that, the rest of the band could stay or go, their choice.

The boys wrapped up practice around four A.M., and I purposely lingered around until everyone else had left...that song had done things to me, driving me to do things I never did. Nixon was definitely in for a surprise. The door closed behind Chris and once I was sure he was gone, I walked over, locked the door, and turned around to face Nixon, who was on my heels, guitar case in hand, ready to go.

"Um...." he said, looking around ",what are you doing?"

"Don't worry about what I'm doing. Just don't talk...sing that song to me..." I said, pressing a finger to his lips.

"What song?"  
"That new one...sing it to me."  
"L-l-l..." he gulped, "Lollipop?"  
"Hmm....yeah...that's the one." I replied, pulling him by the hand toward the couch.  
"Uh..."

"Oh, don't be shy, Nix...sing it to me....please?" I said, staring into his eyes. My heart was racing, my palms were sweating, but I was going to do this. In the five years we had been together, I had never done anything like this for him. He had never asked and the thought had never crossed my mind until I heard him sing that song...

"Um...sh...she said he's so sweet...." he started to sing, acapella, low and smooth.

"Mhm...keep singing." I replied, pushing him down on the couch.

"I wanna lick the wrapper....and she......"  
"Don't stop...keep going..." I whispered in his ear, straddling him. I slowly unbuttoned his shirt, kissing his face, neck, and chest as I exposed more and more bare skin.

"She licks me like a lollipop....like a lo...oh shit...." he stopped singing once I unbuttoned his pants and slowly slid my hands down the front of them.

"Don't stop singing and I won't stop." I said teasingly, moving down onto the floor

"Shh...shawty wanna thug....bottles in the club...."

The more he sang, the more I wanted him.

"Man I ain't never seen an ass like hers...that..." he sang again.

He sucked air in through his teeth, somewhat gasping for air as I nervously made my first move. I looked up to see him, eyes closed, fingers brushing his lips. I pulled away from what I was doing, bit my lip, took a deep breath and resumed my task. My heart was still racing, but I wasn't nearly as tense; it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, and I hoped I wasn't doing it all wrong. With every whimper, whine, moan, and breath, I could tell that I was doing it exactly right.  
"Stop...come here." Nixon said, between labored breaths. I pulled myself back up onto the couch next to Nix. I proceeded to kiss his neck once more, nipped at the new tattoo on his collarbone, and regained my own normal breathing and heartrate patterns. He pulled my face to his, kissed my lips, and pushed me onto my back. He trailed hot kisses from my mouth to my fingertips and back again before unbuttoning my jeans.

"Call me...so I can get it juicy for ya...." he growled into my ear. I whined, that was pretty much all I could muster with the way he'd said 'call me'.

"Call me so I can come and do it for ya..." he whispered, pushing my shirt up.

"Stop teasing." I replied.

"Call me so I can come and prove it for ya....so I can make it juicy for ya.....so I can get it juicy...." he sang into my ear. I dug my nails deeper into his back with every syllable, he was driving me wild. "There is no need to make any calls..."

"Is that so?"  
"Affirmative..."  
"What are you trying to say?"  
"Don't make me say it." I whined.

"Ohh...you don't wanna say it?" he asked.

"Nixon..."  
"Yes, Lyndsey?"

"Kenneth Wayne Nixon..."  
"Fuck....me." I whispered, my eyes closed.

He gave a throaty laugh and after a few more minutes of evilly teasing me, he followed my command. We left the rehearsal studio just after seven-thirty AM, both of us sweaty, speechless, and me, shaky.

"You gonna be okay to drive or do you want me to?" Nixon asked as we walked out into the already blazing July sunlight.

"I....I think you should drive. My legs are still shaking." I said, handing him the keys.

He took the keys from me, loaded his guitar into the trunk, and opened my door for me.

"Do you wanna go get something to eat or do you want to go home?" he asked, getting in the driver's side and adjusting the seat.

"I'm kind of hungry...and thirsty...but we have food at home."  
"Yeah...so do you want to go home?" he asked.

I nodded, staring straight ahead, my mind still completely blown from the morning's events. Nixon drove us home, where we headed straight for bed. I was too tired to eat, drink, dream, or think. He turned the thermostat down and stripped down before climbing in the bed. We both fell straight to sleep, woke up late in the afternoon, and hurriedly showered and dressed together before I dropped him off at practice and headed to work. I picked Nixon up when I got off and we went out for dinner, discussed my day at work and his day at rehearsal.

"Well...we decided on something tonight." he said, laying the tip on the table.

"Yeah?"  
"Yeah. We're gonna do 'Lollipop' live tomorrow night." he replied.

I nearly dropped my glass.

"What?"  
"Yeah, we're gonna do it live. Just for fun."

"Lollipop?"  
"Yeah..." he laughed.

"Oh Lord."  
"Hey, you inspired our version...I have no idea what possessed you to do that, but..." he said, throwing his hands up. I blushed, I know I did. We paid the bill and left for home, where we once again crashed after dawn. We woke at noon and readied ourselves for the show that night, and for the first time in a long time, I was nervous around Nixon.

They wrapped up the regular set that night, the lights went out, and a few people in the crowd started to leave. Ryan, Brandon, and Luke all played the first few bars slowly while Nixon talked.  
"So...we were all drunk the other night during rehearsal, and I came up with some fucked up idea to do a cover song...just for fun....so....just for you, Nashville...a sweet little treat...."

The lights flashed back on and Luke and Brandon allowed Ryan to pick the first few notes solo. Chris followed Ryan, followed by Luke and Brandon, followed by Nixon's deep "He said she's so sweet....". I was grateful to be sidestage, in the shadows, alone, so no one could see me blush. I fixed my eyes on Nixon as he sang to the crowd.

"Man I ain't never seen an ass like hers...that...." he sucked air in through his teeth and brushed his fingers against his lips, eyes closed "at my mouth had me lost for words..."

The girls in the crowd screamed and my jaw dropped. Little did anyone know, that a little fun would turn into a certified gold record, and begin the sudden skyrocket ride of Framing Hanley to fame.

The record label wanted the band to record "Lollipop" and release it as a single, so, after legal clearance, they went into the studio, recorded the song, and released it to radio nationwide, along with a re-release of "The Moment" in early August. It got a lot of airtime, and the band even shot a video for the song, which also charted really well on several video countdowns. The band became even more popular than they were, gained more of a fanbase, and scheduled tour dates almost non-stop through the end of 2008 and into 2009. The boys spent less and less time at home, and more and more time on stage and on the road, traveling from coast to coast.


	17. PHOTOGRAPHS AND GASOLINE

**CHAPTER EIGHTEEN-PHOTOGRAPHS AND GASOLINE**

The combination of time on the road, the semi-fame, and our conflicting schedules seemed to be driving us apart. In five years of being in a relationship with Nixon, and eight years of knowing him, I had never felt so distanced from him; it was breaking my heart. When we did talk, we fought. It was odd...in the past we had never fought. Sure, we had argued, but never had we had a full-on yelling fight. One night, it all finally boiled over.

It was just before Christmas, and the guys were coming home for the holidays. It was the first time they'd been home since just before Halloween. I wasn't feeling well at all, so Nixon had Luke bring him home. I heard the door open and rolled out of bed. Yet another wave of nausea washed over me, but I shook it off, walked into the living room to greet Nixon. He looked pissed off, tired, and the closer I got to him, the stronger the lingering scent of marijuana became.  
"Hello..." I said.

"I figured I would come say goodbye..."

"What?" I asked.

"Lyndsey....I just..." he said, pulling his beanie off, "this isn't working out...me being on the road all the time, you working all the time...I don't have time for a relationship."  
"What? Nixon..."  
"I'm sorry, Lynds...I just can't do this anymore...I can't do...you...us...anymore. It's over. I'm sorry."  
"Nixon, you're just gonna throw it all away? You're just going to...what about all the memories we've made? You're my best friend...and you're just going to walk away?"

"You're not the one to blame, Lynds...it's all me, I promise...I just can't do this anymore. I'm sorry."  
Hot tears spilled from my eyes, streaking my face. My nausea was suddenly worse, and I'm pretty sure I felt my heart break.

"Nixon, you can't leave me. I won't let you."  
"Then I'll go. I won't be coming back, though."  
"No, you're not leaving either. We're staying together." I told him.

"Lyndsey...I told you I would break your heart...and you didn't believe me. We've been through a lot but it's over." he said, walking toward me. He placed his hand on my arms, trying to comfort me, but I jerked away.

"Don't touch me." I said, backing away from him.

"Lyndsey, come on, don't be that way..." he said.

"Don't touch me, Kenneth. You said it's over...clearly it's over. I'm not going to fight you. I'm going to give you what you want." I said, turning on my heels and walking to the bedroom. I grabbed my cell phone, threw some clothes in a bag, and grabbed my car keys, then turned back around, tears still pouring from my eyes.

I bumped into Nixon in the hallway, but pushed him away, knocking him into the wall, causing a photo to fall, the glass shattering and the picture sliding out. It was one of my favorite pictures of us together, taken after a show, both of us sweaty, him smiling, and me kissing him on the cheek. He picked it up, dusted it off, and held it out to me.

"Take this photograph...and I'll take the empty frame. I'd rather not be reminded of how bad I've hurt you." he said, handing me the photo before turning and walking away. He went into the bedroom, shut the door, and locked it. I closed my eyes, fighting away more tears before finally walking out the door.

I trudged down the stairs, unlocked my car, and sat down in the driver's seat, but I didn't start it. I cried until my eyes were dry, my chest hurt, and darkness had fallen. There were no lights on in the apartment, Nixon hadn't stirred. I started my car, backed out of the parking spot, and drove away. I wanted to cry again, but I couldn't. I was entirely too nauseated. I stopped by a fast food restaurant and got myself something to drink and eat, hoping it would settle my stomach, and drove to my Dad's house. I let myself in, leaving everything but the photo of Nixon and I in the car, and went into my old room, shut the door, laid on the bed, picture clutched to my chest, tears once again falling from my eyes.

I tried to go to sleep, but too many words and memories burned my ears and mind. I wiped my face and sat up in bed. The nausea was getting worse, the food and drink hadn't helped at all. I wanted to pawn it on my nerves, but it had been going on far too long. I just couldn't shake it. I closed my eyes, trying to at least forget about it until morning. I'd call and set up a doctors' appointment then. Maybe I could find out what the hell was wrong with me. I figured it was my gallbladder...my dad had the same symptoms when his gallbladder needed to be removed; constant nausea, fatigue.

_Great, just what I need after the worst breakup of my life, gallbladder surgery, _ I thought to myself before finally falling asleep.

I was awoken the next morning by a huge clap of thunder and the sound of pouring rain. The house was silent otherwise, I was certain I was alone. My dad and step-mom would already be gone to work. I rolled out of bed, even more nauseated than the night before and trudged toward the living room to look for a phonebook to call my doctor and set up an appointment. I sat on the couch, leafing through the pages, when the nausea became too much. I clapped a hand over my mouth and ran to the bathroom, but didn't quite make it. I threw up in the sink, my eyes watering. I reached up with a shaky hand, turned on the water, and poured some soap down the sink to help wash the vomit away. I grabbed the mouthwash, swished it around in my mouth, and spit until the taste was gone. I felt a little better, but not much. I headed back into the living room, picked up the phonebook, and dialed my doctor's office. I was long overdue for a checkup anyhow, so I'd just have him run a few tests while I was there. The nurse told me to come on in that afternoon, since they'd be closed the rest of the week, and they'd work me in. I thanked her, hung up the phone, and headed out to my car to grab my bag I'd packed the night before.

Everything reminded me of Nixon; everything I pulled out of my bag, every sight and sound and smell, all of it reminded me of him. I couldn't stay here long, I knew that. I had to start new, I had to get my own place, something with no memories. I grabbed my keys and started to head out the door, but turned back. I grabbed the photo of Nixon and I, went to the kitchen and dug in the drawers until I found what I was looking for, and made my way outside.

I got into my car, threw the photo in the passenger seat, and started my car. I had to drive by Nixon's apartment on the way to the doctor's office, and I had a plan. I parked my car in its' usual spot, grabbed the photo and the box of matches, and practically ran up the steps to his doorstep. I held the photo between my teeth, struck the match on the side of the box, and lit the bottom corner of the picture. I laid it on the ground, still burning, knocked on the door, and took the steps, two at a time, back to the bottom. I hopped back into my car, which was still running, and backed out quickly, hoping to drive away before he noticed, but I was too late. I could see his figure, holding the remnants of the photo, running down the steps. My eyes flooded with tears as I drove away, Nixon in my rearview mirror.


	18. YOU STUPID GIRL

**CHAPTER NINETEEN-YOU STUPID GIRL**

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"I mean that your gallbladder is fine...you don't need any operation."  
"So what's wrong with me?"  
"Well, nothing's wrong, Miss Carmichael..." Doctor Hastings said, sitting on a stool next to the exam table I was sitting on.

"Okay, so...why am I so nauseated all the time?" I demanded. I was becoming annoyed, I just wanted to know what the hell was making me so sick. I'd had enough beating around the bush.

"Well, we ran a few other tests...and one of them was a pregnancy test." he explained. My heart sank. Pregnancy test? No way. There was absolutely no way that I was pregnant, no way in hell. Nixon and I hadn't slept together since before he left, around Halloween. I'd have to be nearly two months pregnant. That doctor was an idiot as far as I was concerned.

"You ran a pregnancy test?" I asked.

"Yes...and it waas positive...you're pregnant, Miss Carmichael."

My jaw dropped. What the hell? Pregnant? Me? Seriously?  
"How far along am I?" I asked.  
"That I'm not sure of, but I can refer you to a friend of mine, he's a great OB/GYN, very prominent in this area, he can tell you that information, and get you set up and prepared to be a mommy." he said, scribbling on a notepad. I just couldn't believe it. This was far worse than needing gallbladder surgery. Nixon and I had just broken up, and I was angry with him. Should I even tell him that I was pregnant? For what seemed like the hundredth time in two days, my eyes filled with tears. I took the paper from Dr. Hastings, grabbed my things, and stormed out of the office. I don't even remember if I checked out. By then, I was even more angry with Nixon. So he had gotten me pregnant, and broken up with me. _God, _I thought, _you are so stupid, Lyndsey! He told you he would break your heart, but you just didn't listen...you had to have him, so you got him, and now look at you...you stupid girl....you stupid, stupid girl._

I got into my car, slammed the door, and screamed before completely losing it. I decided at that moment to not tell Nixon I was pregnant. If he didn't want me in his life, then my baby and I didn't need him in ours. I would do it all on my own. Plenty of people were single mothers...I just never imagined myself as one. I always figured Nixon would be there. We all think wrong sometimes, though, and I guess when I thought Nixon would be there was one of those times. I turned the car on and headed back to my dad's place. It was time to give him an early Christmas surprise.

"Pregnant? I'm going to be a grandfather?" Dad asked me.

"Yes. I don't know how far along I am or anything, but I'll find out next week."  
"Well, congratulations, Lyndsey..." he said, leaning over and giving me a hug.

I wished I was as enthusiastic as Dad was about it. He seemed genuinely happy. I simply dreaded the next few months and years. I was terrified to be pregnant and alone, to be a single mother, a statistic.

"Thanks, Dad." I replied.

"Where's Nixon?"  
"Umm...well...Nixon...we broke up."  
"Because of this?" Dad asked.  
"No, no...he doesn't know...we broke up last night. I'm not really sure why...or...it doesn't matter. I'm going to raise the baby on my own. I don't even want Nixon knowing I'm pregnant. I've got an appointment in Hendersonville this afternoon though, to look at an apartment. I just wanted to come by and tell you...I'll see you later, Daddy."

I kissed my dad on the cheek and said goodbye. From his house, I drove to my job, picked up my paycheck, and headed to Hendersonville where I met the manager of a new apartment complex, signed a lease, and made my deposit and first month's rent payment. I was told I could move in whenever I wanted to. I had furniture at my dad's house for my bedroom, but the rest of my belongings were at Nixon's apartment. I'd wait til he was gone to go and get them. I decided to stay the rest of the week with Dad, that way he could help me move when the weekend came.

Like the rest of my life, my pregnancy flew by. I gave birth to my daughter, Kenley Wren Nixon, on July 25, 2010, two months to the day after her father's band released their second album, which, by that point, had done very well. It went gold before it was even released, due to fangirls worldwide preordering. I had a copy of the record myself, Brandon had brought it by. He was the only member of the band I'd kept in contact with, which I regretted, but he and I had always been closest. He came and visited me in the hospital, the day after Kenley was born.

"Hey, Little Mama." Brandon said, walking into my hospital room, a bouquet of flowers and balloons in one hand, a small pink stuffed animal in the other.

"Hey, Brand..." I said, looking up from feeding Kenley.

"Awww, she's beautiful, Lynds." he said, leaning down and hugging me. He set the balloons and flowers on the table, then took a seat on the edge of my hospital bed.

"Thanks, Brandon...she looks so much like her Daddy..."

"Yeah, she does...I didn't want to say that, but she does."

"It's okay, sweetheart...I knew she would...how's Kayla?"  
"She's good. She said she'd come by later..."

"That's fine."  
"Did she sleep through the night last night?" he asked, nodding toward Kenley.

"Yeah, actually..I was surprised. Long day for the both of us yesterday, I guess." I replied, laughing.

"Yeah, it was...I'm just glad you're both here, and safe."

I'd had a hard time all throughout my labor and delivery. Kenley's heartrate kept fluxuating, causing me to be distressed, which put her into distress. Not to mention, I was in labor for thirty-four hours. I delivered her naturally, but without pain medication, which really sucked for me when I started to tear. Twenty four hours, six stitches, and an eight pound, four ounce baby later, I was feeling much better, minus the fact that her father didn't even know she existed. I was completely to blame for that, however, and as soon as I laid eyes on her, I regretted never telling him. I swear that Brandon read my mind that day in the hospital.

"So, are you gonna tell Nix?" he asked, breaking our silence.

"I'm not sure...part of me wants to, but part of me doesn't...I want to do this all on my own, to prove that I don't need him...but the truth is, Brand...I do, I do need him, I love him and I need him...Kenley needs him." I said.

"Yeah...you guys do need him...but you'll tell him when you're ready, Lynds...whether that be now, tomorrow, or never...it's up to you, and I support you. Kayla and I will always be there for you."

"Thanks hun." I said. I pulled the bottle from Kenley's mouth; she had fallen asleep, her big brown eyes were closed. She looked like an angel lying there in my arms.

"You want me to lay her in her bassinet?" Brandon asked.

"If you want to, yeah..that would be great...thank you." I said. Brandon carefully took my daughter into his arms, cradling her gently, and laid her in the plastic bassinet next to my bed.

"Alright girl...I gotta get going. Band practice...we just got back off the road and we're already practicing. Work, work, work...the price of being a rockstar..." he said, hugging me once more.

"Bye, Brandon...thanks for stopping by...it really means a lot to me."  
"It's no problem, sweetie. I'll be here to pick you up tomorrow and take you home, okay?"

"Alright."  
"And if you decide to tell Nixon...and you want me there when you do...you know the number."  
"Thanks, Brandon."  
"See ya girl."

Brandon kissed my forehead, leaned down and kissed Kenley's, and left, shutting the door behind him. I leaned back in my bed, staring out the window at the Nashville sunset as a song about a stupid girl started playing in my head.


	19. REWRITE THE STORY A NEW BEGINNING

**CHAPTER TWENTY-RE-WRITE THE STORY...A NEW BEGINNING**

For the first two and a half months of Kenley's life, I didn't call her father. I didn't write to him, I didn't go see him, and I made sure Brandon and Kayla didn't bring up the fact that he had a daughter to him. I was terrified of his reaction. What if he denied it? What if he simply didn't care? What if he tried to take her away from me? Kenley was my world, I couldn't lose her, so I decided to keep her to myself. She would be my little secret. I definitely didn't bank on him accidentally finding out about her in September; I had no idea the guys were back from another leg of touring. I knew that at some point in that month, they were headed to the UK, but I wasn't quite sure when they were leaving.

We were in Walmart when I ran into him. I was trying to load a case of formula into my cart, but Kenley had begun to cry and I was losing my grip on the box. It slipped from my hands and fell to the floor, busting open, cans rolling everywhere, as Kenley cried louder. Tears of frustration filled my eyes as I walked back around the cart to tend to my daughter. She'd simply lost her pacifier, which had fallen down beside her in the carseat. I picked it up and put it back in her mouth, then turned around to pick up the cans of formula that had rolled all over the aisle. I stooped down, tossed them in my cart, and picked up the broken box. When I got back to my feet, a familiar face was standing next to my shopping cart, staring at my daughter. I imagined he felt like he was looking in a mirror.

"Nixon..." I said, after a moment.

"Hey." he replied, jamming his hands into his pockets. You could cut the tension between us with a knife. I hadn't seen him in nearly a year, but he hadn't changed much. His hair was a bit longer, but not much else had changed.

"How have you been?" I asked him.

"Good...busy...you?"  
"Busy..." I replied, biting my lip.

"That's good...uh...whose kid?"  
My heart raced. What did I tell him? I couldn't exactly avoid the question.

"Mine." I replied. I looked over at Kenley, who was staring intently at Nixon, her brown eyes with the same familiar sparkle his always had.

"Who's her daddy?"  
I took a deep breath and blinked back a few tears.  
"She's yours, Nix." I replied.

"Thought so..."

"Nixon, I'm sorry...I just..."  
"Just what? Did you think I'd never find out?"  
"I hoped..."  
"You hoped? You hoped I wouldn't find out? Lyndsey, that isn't fair! She's my daughter and I have to find out this way that she exists?"

"I'm sorry."  
"Sorry? That's all you can say, sorry? Lyndsey, I know I hurt you, but do I really deserve THIS? To be completely left in the dark...Lyndsey, I..."  
"Nixon...please...can we go somewhere else and talk about this?"  
"No, Lyndsey, we can't. We're gonna talk about this right here, right now..."  
"Nixon..."  
"What?"  
"I'm sorry, okay? I didn't know what to do. I was scared. I found out the day after we broke up...she was born in July...she has your last name."  
"But you weren't going to even tell me she existed?" he asked, tears now spilling from his long lashes.

"I've got to go, Nixon..."

"Go then. Leave..."

"I really am sorry." I told him. He wiped his eyes and walked away, not saying another word. As he walked away, our daughter began to cry.

I pushed my cart to the front of the store, checked out quickly and drove home to my apartment. I carried Kenley into the house, fixed her a bottle, and sat down to feed her. She fell asleep halfway through her feeding, so I laid her in her crib before heading back outside to quickly grab the formula and diapers from the store. I loaded all the bags onto my arms, and was struggling to open the door when a voice came from behind me.

"Need some help?"

I turned around and saw Nixon standing there, hands in his pockets, beanie perched on his head, and despite the fact that he had his glasses on, you couldn't mistake the sparkle in his chocolate eyes.  
"Yeah, can you open the door?" I asked. He reached over, opened the door and pushed it open, before grabbing some of the bags I had hanging on my arms.

"Go ahead, I'll take these for you." he offered.

I didn't think twice about it, I just let him into my apartment and shut the door behind us. He followed me to the kitchen and set the bags down on the counter, then turned back to look me in the eye.

"Lynds, before you say anything, please, just let me apologize for the way I've acted..."  
"Nix..."  
"Just let me finish, please," he said, taking a deep breath, "I'm really sorry for breaking your heart...I understand why you didn't want me in your life, in your baby's life...but Lyndsey, I'm here to ask you for a second chance...please, let me at least be a part of her life...you don't have to ever love me again, you don't even have to like me...but please, don't make me miss out on my little girl's life...I love her..."

I opened my mouth to reply, but Kenley's cries were coming from her bedroom.  
"Hang on." I said, walking out of the kitchen. I made my way down the hall, opened my daughter's bedroom door, and flipped on the light. I picked her up, cradled her to my chest and lightly patted her back. She kept crying, even after she burped. Nothing I did soothed her, nothing I said calmed her.

"Is she okay?" Nixon asked from the doorway.

Kenley stopped crying.

I looked up at him, then back down at my....our daughter.

"Yeah...she's fine...." I said.

"Can I..."

"Of course..."

Nixon took a few steps toward me, biting his bottom lip. I placed our little girl in his arms and saw both of their faces break into identical smiles. I couldn't help but to smile then, myself.

"She's beautiful." Nixon said, sitting in the rocking chair.

"She looks just like you." I replied.

"Yeah, she does..."

"She has your initials...I named her after you."  
"You did?"  
"Yeah...I figured it was the least I could do."  
"What's her name?"  
"Kenley....Kenley Wren Nixon."

"I like that..."

"She was born July 25...I had a hard time, but I'm okay now...and she's healthy, so that's all that matters, really..."  
Nixon nodded, rocking back and forth. His smile never faded, and neither did Kenley's, not even when she finally fell back asleep in her father's arms.

"I'll put her in her crib." I said, walking toward them.

"I can do it..." he said, standing slowly. He crossed the room and gently kissed her forehead before laying her in her crib. I flipped off the light and he followed me out, shutting the door behind us.

"I think you and I need to talk a bit more..." I told him.

"Agreed."  
"Come on...we'll have a drink and talk."

Nixon and I walked into the kitchen, where I grabbed him a beer, and myself a water, and sat down at the table across from one another.  
"I really am sorry." he said, tracing the letters on the beer bottle.

"I am too, Nix...I should've told you..."  
"I never should have made you leave."  
"I was so hurt..." I told him.

"I know, and I felt like shit for it...I love you, Lyndsey, I always have, and I always will."  
"I love you, too Nixon...."  
"I know things aren't gonna be exactly how they were before...but do you think we could work on us? Get back to being us?"  
"What are you trying to say, Nixon?"  
"That I want you back...that I want us to be a family, me, you, and Kenley..."  
I got up, walked around the table, and kissed Nixon's lips softly. I'd been longing to do that for far too long.  
"I'll take that as a yes..." he replied.

"Nixon, I never wanted us to end...we belong together, me and you...this is meant to be...and no, things aren't going to be perfect, but we have plenty of time to fix this all..."

Nixon stood up, placed his hands on my hips, and pulled me closer to him. He kissed me softly at first, but then deepened and intensified it. I wrapped my arms around his neck, our lips moving together, in sync. He pulled away, placing two soft pecks on my lips before speaking.

"I guess it's true what they say..." he said.

"What's that?"

"That you love your woman more after she has your baby."

I smiled and leaned in, kissing him softly on the lips once more.

"So....how did you know where I was?" I asked him.

"Um...a little birdie?" he replied, shrugging.

"I'm going to kill Brandon." I laughed.


	20. THIS IS ACTUALLY CHAPTER 8

**CHAPTER 8- I'D SLEEP SO MUCH EASIER TONIGHT**

My dad stopped for take-out on the way home, but I wasn't hungry. I was irritated, angry, and anxious. I just wanted to go to my room, slam the door, lay on my bed, and cry until my tear ducts ran dry. I wanted to call Nixon and have him come hold me in his arms while I cried, but that wouldn't be happening. My dad wasn't going to allow it. When we arrived to the house I got out of the truck silently, slammed the door, and stomped toward my house. I fished my key out of my purse and let myself in, then stormed off angrily to my room. I slammed my door, hoping my dad would get the point that I was mad at him. I took off my shoes, shed my clothes, and pulled Nixon's pajama pants and t-shirt on, flipped off the light, and sat down at my desk. I turned on the computer, hoping to distract myself from all the thoughts clouding up my mind.

I loggged onto AOL and instantly recieved an IM from Nixon.

_**SOKWayneNixon: **__Hey Lynds._

_**LGC100985: **__Hey..._

_**SOKWayneNixon: **__You okay?_

_**LGC100985: **__Good as can be expected I guess. Still sore, and really pissed off...my dad doesn't want me to see you._

_**SOKWayneNixon: **__What?_

_**LGC100985: **__Yeah. Pissed. That's stupid! You did nothing wrong. I don't get it._

_**SOKWayneNixon: **__I'm really sorry...I love u._

_**LGC100985: **__I love you too. He'll calm down. I hope._

_**SOKWayneNixon: **__I hope so too. Other than being sore and all, are you okay? _

_**LGC100985: **__Yeah, I guess. Just...ugh...I kinda need you...I mean, there's nothing wrong, I just like having you around. I'm scared, I feel like I'm on the verge of a panic attack, and you keep me calm._

_**SOKWayneNixon: **__Am I allowed to call you?_

_**LGC100985: **__I dunno. I don't wanna ask. I'll call you after he goes to bed though._

_**SOKWayneNixon: **__I'll sing you your favorite song :-) maybe it'll make ya feel better?_

_**LGC100985: **__Maybe. I'll call you in a bit. Love u._

_**SOKWayneNixon: **__Okay. Love u 2. _

I signed offline and shut the computer down, tears forming again. Would I ever stop crying? It didn't seem like it. I laid down in my bed, thoughts running through my mind. My dad wouldn't be going to bed in a few hours. I closed my eyes, willing the replay of the night before away, hoping to catch a quick nap to pass some time. I thought of the wee hours of morning when Nixon and I slow danced in his bedroom, him humming the tune of my absolute favorite song. I felt my lips turn up into a smile as I nodded off to sleep.

A vivid flashback of a nightmare shook me from my peaceful slumber. I bolted upright in my bed, my face and hair soaked in a cold sweat, my entire body shaking, tears streaming. I glanced at the clock and saw that it was past midnight. Nixon had always told me I could call him anytime. He had his own phone line in his bedroom, so if I called, it wouldn't disturb his dad. With shaking hands, I reached for the phone and dialed his number. He answered on the first ring.

"Hello?"

"Nix..."  
"Lyndsey?"  
"Nixon..."  
"Lyndsey, sweetheart, what's the matter?"

"Nixon...it was just a dream...tell me it was just a dream. It didn't really happen again."  
"Are you okay?"

"I just had...a really bad dream...nightmare..."  
"What happened?"  
"It was just a flashback...I don't...I can't go back to sleep. Can you come over here?"  
"Your dad said..." he started.

"I know what he said, Nix. Please? I'll let you in. You just have to be quiet. Please. Just stay with me until my dad leaves. Please? I need you, Nixon." I plead, cutting him off.

Nixon was silent for a moment, but I heard his keys rattle. "I'm on my way, Lynds. Sit tight. I'll come to your back window. Let me in."

"Thank you...I love you."  
"I love you too, Lynds. Be there in five."  
I hung up the phone, feeling a little more calmed. I walked over to the window and pulled back the curtain, drew the blind, and unlocked the window. The screen had fallen off late in the summertime, and my dad never bothered with putting it back up, so it would be easy for Nixon to come in. I slid it open slowly so not to make too much noise, sat on the sill, and waited for my best friend to arrive. My feelings for him had returned, and were growing stronger. I was lost in thought, once again re-living our slow dance when I heard footsteps in the grass.  
"Lyndsey?" he said quietly. I looked up and felt my heart skip a beat. The moonlight shone down on his pale but perfect face, his brown eyes sparkling. He approached my window and I moved back so he could climb in. I walked over to my bedroom door and turned the lock so my dad couldn't come in. I turned back around, walked over to Nixon, and wrapped my arms around his waist. An instant sense of security swept over me. I was calm, relaxed, unafraid. He gave me peace and comfort unlike anything or anyone else could. He wrapped his arms around me and held me tightly for what seemed like hours. I was perfectly content with his heart beating against my ear. If we stayed like this forever, I'd be fine.

"I'm gonna shut the window..." he whispered. I nodded, but didn't let go. He broke our embrace, walked over to the window, slid it shut slowly, and let the blind and curtain back down. He sat down on my bed, took me by the hand, and pulled me down next to him.  
"Better now?" he asked.

"Yes...much...thank you for coming." I replied. I linked my arms around his, leaning my head on his shoulder.  
"Just hope your dad doesn't catch me over here."

"He won't. He's asleep, and he'll leave for work soon." I said.  
"I know, but won't he get up and check on you?" he asked.

"I dunno, my door's locked. He can't get in here. You didn't drive, did you?"  
"No, I walked. I didn't want him to get up in the morning and see my car."  
"Right...smart idea. Dumb question."  
"Not dumb."  
"Today has sucked." I said, laying down, my head in his lap. Nixon stroked my hair, a comforting, relaxing gesture.

"Yeah, it has." he replied. He continued stroking my hair as our conversation continued. We talked about him and Adrian, school, and wrestling. After an hour or so, I started yawning. The past two days had left me absolutely exhausted. I glanced at the clock...three thirty AM...my dad would be up in an hour.

"I'm so sleepy." I said.  
"You want me to lay down with you?" he offered.  
"Would you? I'd sleep so much easier tonight."  
"Yeah...sit up, let me lay down."

I sat up, let Nixon get comfortable, then laid back down, my head on his chest, arms around his waist, both of his wrapped around my shoulders. I was grateful to have such an amazing friend in Kenneth Wayne Nixon. He was beautiful to me, maybe not to others, but to me, he was the most beautiful boy in the world, inside and out. Some of the girls at school thought he was a bit nerdy still, though he'd changed a lot over the past year. His band, Silent Ovation, was a huge deal at school, but the future of the band was now in limbo, with what Kenny had done to me.

"Night, Nix." I said sleepily.

"Night, Lyndsey." I closed my eyes, my mind finally clear, and drifted off to sleep.

I woke up the next day at noon, alone. I momentarily panicked. Where was Nixon? Had he already left? He wouldn't leave without telling me.  
"Nix?" I said aloud. No answer. My heart pounded, I wanted my Nixon. I was dialing his phone number when my bedroom door opened and Nixon walked in, holding a bag and a drink holder.  
"Oh my God, I thought you had left me." I said.  
"Well, I did, but just for a few minutes. I went and got us Mexican from Jose's. I know you like that place." he said, handing me a drink. My heart rate returned to normal.

"Thanks." I replied.

"No problem. I tried to wake you before I left, but you said no. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you worry." he apologized.  
"It's okay. I just freaked when I woke up and you were gone."

"Well, I have to leave eventually. But I'll come back tonight if you need me to."  
"I appreciate that...Daddy goes to bed around nine. You can come over any time after then." I said.

Nixon laughed and handed me a take out box. He sat and ate with me, then left around two. I showered and dressed and took the trash out, ridding the evidence that I'd had a guest. I was walking back into the house when Dad pulled into the driveway. I was still angry with him, but not to the point of giving him the silent treatment anymore.

"Feeling better today?" he asked.

"A little."

"The detective called me at work today."  
"Did he?"  
"Yeah, it seems like there was a problem." he said.

"Problem? What kind of problem?" I asked.

"Let's go inside." he replied.

My heart pounded and my stomach knotted up. What kind of problem could there be? I followed my dad into the house and sat down on the couch, waiting for him to explain what kind of problem had arisen. Apparently there wasn't enough DNA collected when I went in and had my rape kit done the day before to prove anything against Kenny. The detective explained to my dad that we could still press charges, but the rape would be much more difficult to prove, unless he confessed, and that would be highly unlikely. We were to come to the police office Monday morning to file the new charges.


End file.
